week of updates

Here you go, JB:

I suck.

Monday and Teusday were okay, but most of my night meals consisted of tea, pistachios and/or eggs and SF chocolate. Wait, I guess Monday I did have chicken which was pretty good.

Wednesday I didn’t eat lunch…wait no, I had a SB meal bar which tasted icky, and then I broke down and had Wendy’s chicken strips for supper. If it helps they tasted icky too.

Thursday it was a turkey/bacon/avocado wrap at OC’s and another night of eggs and SF chocolate.

Today I had eggs for breakfast and that’s it so far. I’m scared to see what tonight brings. Uffda.

crappy day

Well this weekend was interesting. I was good until Sunday when I had some strawberries and pizza topping. I even successfully avoided the apple pie I made for the ID workers, even though it was seriously taunting me.

Today is okay. Well, no. It’s not I had my eggs without cheese this morning and then I walked down to Speedy to look for SF chocolate, which they had none. I ended up buying SF crème wafers and a Skor bar because it had less sugar than most, amazingly enough. I had 3 of the cookies and all of the skor bar. Today sucks.

Moving into the next phase

• 2 scrambled eggs from cafeteria
• 2 SF Red Vines
• Salad, chicken, cheese, OG dressing
• 1 20oz, 1 24 oz, 1 28 oz bottle CL tea
• Pistachios
• Cool whip
• Chicken from Chilis and some broccoli

I weighed today too. I’m down a couple pounds from the beginning of the month, which basically means I’m down about 3 from the beginning of the week (last weekend was a free for all eating and so I’m sure I gained at least one if not more).

Next week is whoosh week and I’m thinking of going to phase 1.5 (mostly because I was stupid and brought strawberries last night and strawberries sound so good). But also because it’s basically phase 1 anyway with the occasional break with carbs. I need to get running again and I know if I don’t have a little bit of carbs it’ll be rough to get back into it. So just a few of the good ones here and there. That’s it.

How am I doing?

• 2 scrambled eggs from cafeteria
• 3 SF Red Vines
• Salad, chicken, cheese, OG dressing
• 1 20oz, 1 24 oz, 1 28 oz bottle CL tea
• 1 diet coke
• I small piece steak
• Pistachios
• 2 Red Vines
• 1 SF RS pecan cluster
• Some sugar free coolwhip

Third day - it's still going

• 3 egg whites, 1 full egg, a bit o’ cheese
• 3 SF Red Vines
• 3 bottles tea
• 4 cheese cubes
• ¼ cup chicken noodle soup – mostly broth and chicken (a couple noodles slipped in)
• Standard salad with chicken, cheese and OG dressing
• Pistachios for supper again
• 1 full diet coke
• 1 piece SF RS pecan cluster
• Small piece of LS communion bread/wine

One note of fun – I actually feel better now that I’m back on this. Thought the energy is lacking a bit with lack of carbs I am feeling healthier – cleaner, if that doesn’t seem to gross. I’m debating on staying on Phase one for the full two weeks though. I may move to Phase 1.5 next week and then onto phase 2. We’ll see how it goes.

Keeping strong!

• 4 egg whites, 1 full egg scrambled, cheese
• One 24 oz, Two 20 oz, CL Peach Tea
• One Lite Sargento string mozzarella
• Salad, cheese, chicken chunks and OG dressing
• 3 SF Red Vines (I think I had three)
• Pistachios – yes I had pistachios for supper – a great energy booster since I was dragging having no carbs since Sunday
• ¼ can Diet Coke (Funny, since last week this was my staple liquid)
• More CL Tea

Not bad so far

Monday, Sept. 11, I consumed:

• 3 egg whites, 1 full egg, scrambled with some Kraft cheese
• 1 Lite Sargento string mozzarella
• Lettuce with Kraft cheese and 2 hard boiled eggs (all of the egg!)
• Three 20oz bottles of CL peach tea.
• 1 chicken breast (ginger chicken from the SB recipe book)
• 2 pieces of SF Russell Stover’s pecan clusters
• 1 CL lemonade hard candy
• A few soy nuts (note to self: buy pistachios)
• ¾ can Diet Coke

Finnegan, begin again

Today is the 5 year anniversary of 9/11 and the restart to me and South Beach. Over the weekend I splurged on chocolate and ice cream and pizza and Olive Garden. Today I’m back on Phase 1. I have gained that much from the time I stepped off the program (basically around my Alaska trip) but I’ve gained enough that I’m annoyed and I’m making a new start.

This blog will be boring – just forewarning. I’m going to do my best to list everything I eat and when I exercise so I can see how I’m doing (including the ‘slip ups’ - which may happen today with the smell of fresh cookies for the chapel break...mmmm).

Here’s to making the 1996 135 weight by Dec. 1. Woohoo! Of course, sooner would be better and welcomed. :)

Monday funny

This made me laugh.

Days 12-13, Year 2

So the weekend was interesting, to say the least. Popcorn and ice cream, made some crappy cookies and vegged. But I did get my breakfasts set up for the week – YAY! – and have chicken marinating today to cook up tonight.

I did some research on the different phases of SB this weekend too and figured out I’m on phase 2, with the exception of the ice cream. What I have been eating is on phase 2’s plan, just maybe not in the amounts I have been eating them. So it’s just an adjustment of the portions that I need to do. I can do that. I am capable. YAY!

Oh and exercise more, natch.

Day 11, Year 2

Thanks, JB, for your insightful wisdom. You are truly a smart woman.

I’m not sure that it’s SB that’s keeping me from succeeding, or my boredom with it. There has been a lot of stuff going on lately and I know I’m shrinking into the comfort food stage again because of that. Once some of this sorts itself out and I clean out my kitchen (tossing popcorn and ice cream and, well, more popcorn and ice cream) I know things will get better.

That has been the biggest problem…I haven’t been buying what I should, I haven't been taking the time to pack my lunch and breakfast like I used to. And that's not only hurting my eating plan but my checkbook. Plus it’s not that I don’t like the SB plan…I really do. I like how I feel when I’m consistent with it, I like the meals – there are so many options!, and I really enjoy that it keeps my weight down.

When I was on it religiously, no pun intended, I didn’t miss ice cream or popcorn. I’m not sure what set me off to start up with all that again. Maybe I just need to focus more. Again – starting with cleaning out my house. Perhaps this would be a good weekend to do just that.

Thanks!

Days 2-10, Year 2

Well, I’m not doing so well keeping up with this now am I? OH well…

So let’s see…last weekend I had to do my FitTest for guards – I ran the 1.5 mile in 15:21 with a lot of help from my running buddy. The head wind sucked. Oh well…that wasn’t the only thing – I REALLY need to be doing sit-ups and push-ups on a more regular basis. I can’t believe how out of shape I truly am. Losing weight doesn’t mean crap if you can’t lift your body up off the floor.

OH and the food thing – SO not good lately. In fact, yesterday was national popcorn day and I took it one step further in making it also Orange Day because I had pizza (Jack’s – which often looks orange), Diet Sunkist soda, and…yes…Old Dutch Cheese Popcorn. Not sure why I was craving the orange soda. I was standing at Rainbow and a guy in front of me had a bottle and suddenly I just needed orange soda. Weird.

And I also bought real ice cream – Speedy’s had Edy pints on sale this week – 3 for $3. sinful.

So I am truly living up to the sinner I am – orange food, ice cream, can’t sit up to save my life and truly am a fatty.
Any advice from the 2 people who read this? HELP!

Day 1, Year 2

Well, here we go again. Thus beginneth year 2 on the South Beach eating plan. Of course, I’m sorry to say that this year is not beginning as well as last year.

First, last night was salsa and chips night with Kris which was a blast, so though I ate very well during the day, I screwed it all up at 5pm…because not only did I have salsa and chips, but I went home and made cupcakes for the boys today and had to sample them AND I had some ODCP. I’m so screwed.

I did get up and ellipticate today. I have my fit testing this weekend so I need to keep going. Hoping the weather clears so I can run tonight. I hate running on the treadmill in summer, it seems so futile.

So I’m going to do my best to be phase 1-ing it this week, but it may have to be more official next week.

Day 363-31

This day really should be 364 but whatever. I’m not starting off well, at least via exercising, but I’m doing well starting out with eating.

I’m back on Phase 1 – at least until Guard weekend (during which I’ll probably have pie because it’s Fay’s retirement) – because I desperately need to drop some poundage. I don’t feel bad, I feel okay actually, but I’m back to 150 which isn’t good. So I’m back to my original goal of losing 10-15 pounds. 10 would be great, 15 would be perfect.

So last night I baked up some ginger chicken after eating my last SB pizza for awhile. I chopped that up and this morning I mixed that into my standard salad – lettuce, cheese and chicken. Mmmm. I also made up my eggs this morning and sliced up some celery for my snacks. Yep, I’m back on track hopefully. OH shit…I just realized tonight I’m supposed to go out for drinks with Kris. Shoot. Well, at least I’m starting out okay and tonight I’ll cheat as usual and then tomorrow will be completely back on track. YEP!

I didn’t get up to work out this morning because I’m a total loser. I rolled over and said screw it and went back to sleep. Of course now I feel incredibly guilty so I packed my gym bag and after drinks with kris tonight I’m going to go straight to the gym – so I can hurl up all my salsa and chips. :) yeah, that’s brilliant, isn’t it?

I have been amazed that I haven’t gained more than what I have over the past year. I dropped from 167 to 143 and now I’m back to 150. Not bad really.

Day 350-18 thru 362-30

Somehow I think I got off on my numbers. I started this whole thing August 1 last year so that should be 365 not 364, right? Weird.

Anyway, the past couple weeks have been pretty crazy for food and working out. The 18^th through 23 I didn’t do much of anything for working out because I was oversleeping from work and working a lot in Sioux Falls. The 24^th I did go for a run which felt pretty good – 1.25 in 9:30 and finished up what I think is 1.50 in 12:30. I’m not sure that’s right but it seems okay. I should be okay this coming weekend for my run then. That’s all I’m worried about right now. But I haven’t run since Monday because it’s too freakin’ hot which keeps me from running outside and causes me to oversleep. Weird. BUT tomorrow and the rest of the week, I must get to the gym and eat better.

I haven’t made pies since the 17^th. I did make cookies yesterday – they were good, but like I need those. I need to get back to SB too. How am I going to do this?

Day 345-13 thru 349-17

I am such a slug. I didn’t do anything Thursday or Friday except eat it seems. Saturday I got up early and ran 2.5 miles around the lake, but then went home and made a pie. UGH! Sunday I vegged.

But today, I ellipticated for 37 minutes, burned 475 calories, went 4.10 miles and was at level 12 for 27 of the 37 minutes.

I’m getting back on track. I have to because I’m getting chubby again. NOT GOOD! I have just a few days left at the end of this month to get back on track so I can at least start my second year of SB back where I got down to…if not even more off – like maybe I could get down to 140 before I have to start another year. What do you think? Can I make it?

Day 344-12

Okay so this popcorn for supper thing has too quit. Last night we went to the new pirates movie, which was totally awesome, and of course I had popcorn! It was good though. I got home late so I didn’t get my run in but it’s probably okay if I take a day off every now and then.

Day 343-11

Much better today. Ate breakfast like normal, ate a good lunch, did snack on M&Ms but every girl needs a little chocolate, and I guess I didn’t really eat supper – popcorn again. BUT I went running and ran 1.25 miles in 9:02. Damn. I couldn’t believe it and half of that distance was with a shoe untied but I didn’t want to stop. Then I walked a ¼ mile and then jogged a slower but steady pace for another 1.25 miles before walking around half the lake and back home. It felt good.

The 9:02 really amazed me, especially coming off a cold like I have. I was breathing pretty hard, but I probably could have made it another quarter if my shoe had been tied and if I knew I had to. I think I could safely say that would have been about 11:30 for a full mile and half since I was slowing down on that last stretch of about 100 yards or so. Pretty good.
I’m planning to run with a friend next week while at home for guards but he runs 4 miles at a time. UGH! SO much more in shape than I, but if I keep going each night or morning I should be okay by the time we run.

Days 339-6 thru 343-10

Okay…so I have an addiction. I think I’ve spoken of addictions before, but I’m not going to take the time to find the other posts…so there. Nope, I am now addicted to Old Dutch Cheese Popcorn. This will truly be the death of me if I keep buying it. And then I’m going to go to hell where there will be Old Dutch Cheese Popcorn lining the walls, but when I go to grab some I’ll run into glass and Satan will laugh his fool head off. Then he’ll take me into another room where there will be mountains of Limey Tostitos which will also be protected by some super shield and all I’ll be able to do is look at them. Hell awaits me.

So last Thursday I did go to Bally’s and ellipticated for 32 minutes. It felt good, but then I also felt like hell the rest of the day. Summer colds suck, but see my other blog about that. The rest of the weekend I did nothing. Today I had the afternoon off so I went running. I ran around the lake and fields – 1.25 miles – without stopping, which was good, but then I was dying, which was bad. Having no lung capacity since it’s filled up with good and not working out since Thursday and it being hotter out than originally planned did not help. I walked ¼ mile then ran another ¼ then walked the rest of the way around the lake (3/4 mile total) and then back home. So 2 miles in about 20 minutes. Not bad, but not good either. Of course then I went home and ate a whole bag of OD Cheese Popcorn. There’s a reason their initials are OD because that’s what I did…I OD’d on the popcorn. So not good. Trying to counter it with fruit tonight but not doing well. Ugh.

Day 325-22 thru 338-5

Wow…it’s been awhile. Sorry folks…actually sorry self since this is really only for me. I didn’t do a lot of specific exercise til this morning. I walked a lot on the 22^nd during Emmy day, somewhat exercised on the 23^rd, and then didn’t do much of anything until I was home again on the 1^st. Then mom and I walked 75 minutes Saturday AM, Sunday AM, Sunday PM, Monday AM…crazy we are. Plus we played TrakBall which is awesome. This morning I ran for 20 minutes, my 1.5 mile run plus some cooldown time after. Tonight I’m going to run the park/lake area. I finally found out how far around it is officially: ¾ mile around the lake, 1 ¼ around the lake and fields. Sweet! So that one time I went 3 times around I ran 3.75 miles, plus walking home – so a 4 mile night. Maybe I can do that again tonight. I hope so.

Food has been sucky. I have to get back on my eating plan. It’s so not good. Carb cravings are getting insane. I need to go back to phase one as soon as possible. Gotta shop tonight. Grilling with JB on Saturday…YAY!

Day 325-22 thru 338-5

Wow…it’s been awhile. Sorry folks…actually sorry self since this is really only for me. I didn’t do a lot of specific exercise til this morning. I walked a lot on the 22^nd during Emmy day, somewhat exercised on the 23^rd, and then didn’t do much of anything until I was home again on the 1^st. Then mom and I walked 75 minutes Saturday AM, Sunday AM, Sunday PM, Monday AM…crazy we are. Plus we played TrakBall which is awesome. This morning I ran for 20 minutes, my 1.5 mile run plus some cooldown time after. Tonight I’m going to run the park/lake area. I finally found out how far around it is officially: ¾ mile around the lake, 1 ¼ around the lake and fields. Sweet! So that one time I went 3 times around I ran 3.75 miles, plus walking home – so a 4 mile night. Maybe I can do that again tonight. I hope so.

Food has been sucky. I have to get back on my eating plan. It’s so not good. Carb cravings are getting insane. I need to go back to phase one as soon as possible. Gotta shop tonight. Grilling with JB on Saturday…YAY!

Day 324-21

WOOHOO! Ran this morning at 5.0 on a 1.5 incline for 30 minutes … with… out… stopping. YAY! It was awesome. I felt good. Started out going 15 minutes (the scheduled for the 5K training program) and then felt okay so I upped it to 18 to get 1.5 miles in. Then I felt really good so I went 6 more minutes for 2 miles. Then I felt great so I went 6 more minutes for 2.5 miles. Then I was tired so I walked. The other good thing was I was able to bring down my heart rate fairly well in the 5 minute cool down. Yay me!

Day 323-20

Alrighty then. Last night I ran again for 20 minutes around my lake. It felt good. And this morning I ellipticated for 32 again. The food thing…I really need to think about this. I broke down and bought Old Dutch cheese popcorn last night and ate too much of it for supper, oh and my cookies of course. Not a good thing. But at least I’m running. On my 5K training chart today is an off day, so I’m going to take it off. I see Keith today – thank goodness – and I have to pack for the weekend. Woohoo!

Day 322-19

Okay…back to where I should be. I ellipticated this morning for 32 minutes then ran/walked for 15. I found a chart for a training program to run a 5K in 12 weeks. No, I’m not actually signed up for a 5K but this will give me something to go by when I’m planning my exercise days. YAY! And I’m going to go back to my spreadsheet and get that going again too. Tracking is essential!

Next step - food. Again.

Days 317-14 thru 321-18

Quick recap – Wednesday went to the Twins game and took the day off from exercising – my knees still hurt from running the last couple days. Continued recouping Thursday. Friday the same – should have run but then it started raining. Saturday and Sunday I was cleaning and I did nothing. Aren’t I just the model citizen for Runners Magazine? Not.

Day 316-13

Note to self: when planning on running a few miles at night, do not eat Lime Tostitos just before heading out. This will affect your wind and ability to breathe. Thank you.

Ran 2x around the lake/park last night. walked a lot more than the night before – not just because of the chips but my knees were crying a bit and it was hotter out. Oh well…it’s good for me. When I start to get winded because of the heat I just keep thinking about my buddies in the sandbox and figure I don’t have it so bad. It keeps me going.

My food intake is better. I’m so hungry anymore, it’s driving me nuts. I had my spinach/egg thing at 6:30, got to work today (wed) and needed more. So at 7:30 I wrongly had a cinna twist from the cafeteria, and now at 8:08 I’m eating jello. I can’t get satiated. Ugh! I know it’s good because my metabolism is kicking in – thank god for exercise – but it’s just a little scary.

Day 314-11, 315-12

The last couple days were okay. Sunday I was so exhausted after work that I went home and slept for 2 hours. I meant to only take an hour nap tops, and suddenly it was 2 hours later. Oh well. I needed it, I know. My headache had gone away and I felt more alive than I had. It was very good. After that I made up my breakfast’s for the week and grilled up a bunch o’ chicken (which turned out really well this time).

Monday I ellipticated at Bally’s in the morning. Then I worked 8 hours straight and got home a little after 4. Nice. I’m doing that all week. 30 minute lunches suck so I’m not taking lunch this week and leaving early instead. But I got home and needed to work off some annoyances so I ran/walked for an hour or so. It was great. I went around the park 3 times – the long section. I wish I knew how far around it is, I’m guessing if the lake is ¾ mile than maybe adding the park adds another half mile down around and back? So 1.25 miles around the long way? I’m not sure though. I’m going to go with that until I know better – so 3.75 miles, run/walk, plus to and from my house. maybe 4 miles all around. It felt good, I will say. Though by 7pm I wanted to go to bed, I was so tired. I ended up crashing at 9 but didn’t fall asleep completely until after 10. It was one of those dozing hours.

Goal: work on supper. I don’t eat well for supper. I had cereal last night because I wanted something cool but my lettuce is all icky and I hate salad after awhile, especially when i've had it for lunch. So I need to find some cooler alternatives if I’m going to run at night too. Hot food after running in heat just doesn’t sound appealing but at all.

Days 307-4 to 313-10

I have been very lax in keeping up with this blog. Shame on me. I just haven’t been doing well with anything and I hate to even write about it. My friend Tom has been running a lot lately and I wish I could be like him, but I don’t know…I’m in a weird state right now (not just MN, but emotionally too). I had a massage Thursday and Keith wrote afterward confirming our next appointment with the note: “Thanks and take care of yourself every day!! :)” He’s right, I need to be taking care of myself. I’m not sure where or when I stopped. Was it during Alaska or before? My Alaska eating was crap, and I didn’t go to the gym at all during that time so I’m sure that had something to do with it. My sleep schedule has been off, so I know that’s part of it too. Will I ever get on track again? How can I do this soon? Help!

Days 295-23 to 306-03

I’m a little sad. I missed my 300 day mark. Shoot. Of course that was Graduation day and I was running around the entire time anyway.

So I’m not quite back in sync with my life…getting better. You'd think I would be back by now...soon. Less M&Ms, a little more running. This past Thursday I ran around the entire Powderhorn Park, up the short stairs, walked a bit, back down, then up and down the big stairs twice, around the lake once more walking and running, then up the incline sidewalk to 12^th Ave. It was great. But I wasn’t quite in the right mindset. I think I need to change up my music again. It’s getting too predictable and not motivating like I’d like. Though it also just helps keep the beat and I can zone it out just enough to think while I run. Not like I need help with that.

Food is getting better, like I said. It’s grilling season again which always helps. I fire up that bad boy, throw on some chicken and I am GTG – that’s Good-To-Go.

Just got to keep on keeping on. “you can do it!”

Day 294-22

Better today. Went to Bally’s this morning and Ellipticated for 30 minutes. I’m thinking it’s not doing me much good now – I was on level 10 and the only thing worrying me was my heart rate. My legs weren’t really having a hard time at all. So I’m back on the treadmill in the AM I think. I did mow tonight and I went for a run around Powderhorn. I actually did the stairs there too. WOOHOO! A guy was out running and doing the stairs too and when I passed him the last time he gave me the thumbs up and smiled. That was a nice motivational moment. It felt great to be running outside again. I’ve missed it.

Food is okay. Not great, but okay. I’m back on spinach/egg casserole for breakfast, salad with chicken for lunch. After that it’s downhill. I had pistachios and diet coke for supper tonight. not the best option, but it works for now.

Day 290-18 thru 293-21

Not much happening here. I babysat Riker Thursday night. He took me for a nice walk that night. Friday I ran to SF to finish guard stuff, then back Saturday night. I did mow on Sunday, but that was about it. I’m such a slacker.

Day 286-14 thru 289-17

Having a crappy week. I started out on Phase 1 because I need to drop at least 5 pounds (via my dr.) and I’d prefer around 10 or 15. But then the aftermath of being gone for 3 weeks is still weighing heavily upon me and I can’t get a damn thing done. So I’m comfort eating…though I haven’t had popcorn since Saturday, but I have had the SB bars and some frosting (bad!) and more jello and jello pudding than I should. Once I can figure out this stupid work schedule, my life, and stub rooms I think I’ll be able to get back on track. But tonight, if we go, I’m having chips and spinach dip at Major’s and maybe fattening pizza. At least I know I’m going to do this, and then I’ll run my ass off tomorrow, but for now I need comfort and happiness or I may hurt someone.

Day 284-12, 285-13

Friday morning was the first time since I started SB that I truly saw myself in the mirror and saw myself as thinner. Of course, that night after a thrilling game of paintball I realized it wasn’t as true as I thought.

I can’t wait for Phase 1 on Monday. I suppose I could start today but that’s just not fun. I need one more weekend of crap and then I can reset my life again. Plus I’m just not quite back from the trip yet. Soon though.

Days 261-19 thru 284-11

Uffda. So I’m chalking this time stretch (and the next few days) up to Alaska and the evils of AF dining. Oh the evils of AF dining – my weight went up 3 pounds and cholesterol 20 points. SO NOT GOOD! So, I’ll be starting phase 1 again Monday. I need one more weekend to recoup. More then.

Day 260-18

Okay day. There’s something about mom’s house that makes me want to sleep in. Not that I had anything pressing this morning, but still.

Used mom’s weird treadmill this morning – ran for 18/2, 254 calories, 1.56 miles. However, this one didn’t ask for my weight so I’m sure those calorie numbers are off. I did run 4.5 for 3 min; 5.0 for 9.5 min; 5.5 for 2 min; 5.0 for 3.5 min; CD for 2. It was okay. I may run again tonight if I’m motivated since I probably won’t have time tomorrow.

Day 256-14, 257-15, 258-16, 259-17

Okay…so I missed my update from Friday: I did elliptical first at X-train Rev, level 5 for 20 minutes. I burned 344 calories, for 2.98 miles. My HR was 159/144 at the end. Then I moved to the treadmill – random instead of manual to get some hills in, level 3 since I hadn’t done this before, and at 5.0 speed. I ended up with a HR of 155/121, 135 calories and 1.15 miles. Not bad…good burn.

Saturday and Sunday I had good intentions to get in but with packing and church it just didn’t happen.

So today I ellipticaled 30 minutes – Xtrain Rev again, but I altered it a bit. I didn’t follow the program b/c I’ve been having some issues with that (not long enough going one way and too long others), so I broke it down by 5’s for the most part. Totals were in the end level 6, 351 calories, HR 154/134 at end and 1.87 miles. Not bad. I think I can do better.

Tomorrow I’ll be running on Mom’s treadmill – should be interesting. Then Wednesday I’m basically in a plane all day, but hopefully once we land and get settled I can find the gym and get a workout in. We’ll see. I’m just hoping I don’t lose my momentum.

Day 255-13

Good day today. I’m still feeling the burn which either means I worked new muscle groups or I didn’t stretch well enough, or I just need a nice hour in a hot tub to loosen things up.

Tried the X-Train Reverse on the Elliptical today for 15 minutes at level 5. I was a little disappointed because I started going forward first (which maybe was wrong) and it wasn’t until 5 minutes that it had me switch directions. Then it switched back after 2 or 3 minutes it told me to switch back. But then, nothing. I finally switched back to going backwards at 12 minutes for 2 minutes and then one minute going forward again. I probably did that all backwards though. Maybe I’m supposed to start backward first. I’m not sure…does anyone know?

Anyway…Elliptical I burned 185 calories and went .99 miles. I avg’d 67 rpm’s going forward and 60 going backwards.

After that I moved to the treadmill because I realized I hadn’t run in awhile. 18 minutes total – well 15/3 – with an ending of 163 calories, 1.41 miles on a 1.0 incline and random speeds. It felt good to run again and I realized I’m really not doing well on breath support. I had noticed this last night singing, but I’m not sure how to work on that. Maybe running will help.

I get to see Keith tomorrow. YAY!

Day 254-12

Someday….my weight will go.

Until then, I keep ellipticating. Today final total of 630, 5.45. miles, 170 HR, 65 rpms, random levels/minutes (5/5, 6/10, 7/5, 8/5, 7/5, 6/5), for 35 minutes total. THEN I did another 5 minutes on level 4 for the X-train reverse mode. This was new to me…pretty cool too, though I don’t like the stop and restart thing every minute or so. But it was good to work some different muscles for once. Tomorrow I’m going to split my time. I think I’ll run for 15 or 20 minutes, then ellipticate on x-rev for 15 or 20. It was a good burn.

Day 253-11

UGH I suck…still not eating well. I can’t seem to get a handle on it. Went to Major’s last night for MH’s b-day and had the spinach cheese dip – very yummy but OH so bad, and then because it was MH’s b-day we got a free dessert – cheesecake, which was good but again OH so bad. I’m glad I’m working out or I’d be ballooning back to where I was Aug.1. But that’s not helping the lessening of the weight I have now either. Blech.

Elliptical again – 30 minutes (I’ve been getting up too late to do 45); 384 calories, random levels (5, 6, 7,6), 2.06 miles. I’m thinking it depends on which machine I’m on for what my cals and miles end up being, though I was going slower today. tomorrow – MUST go 45 minutes at least, and maybe hit the weights.

Days 250-8, 251-9, 252-10

Well…I suck. :(

This weekend for food was awful. I’ve reverted to my comfort foods – chips, cookies, cakes. I might as well admit it. And it’s not good.

Didn’t work out all weekend – well, Saturday and Sunday. I set my alarm with good intentions but guards just wears me out. I was so tired I couldn’t pull out of bed before my normal 4:45 time slot. Oh well.

Today – Ellipticated, 30 minutes, random pattern, random levels (5,6,7,6,5), 4.61 miles, 533 calories.

Day 249-7

Ellipticated again today. 30 minutes, 383 cals, 2.05 miles, 164 HR, and random levels: 4 for 5min, 5 for 10min, 6 for 10min, 5 for 5min. I’m thinking I could start at level 5 next time and go up from there, just to shake things up.

Weekend ahead. I’m going to have to figure out if I’m going to run at 4:30 and wake up mom or wait until night. If I wait until night, then I’ll only be able to do it Saturday night, since my gym is closed by the time I get home on Sundays. Hmmm…dilemma. Well I’ll figure it out. When I was here last weekend I didn’t work out at all, so trying to make it work isn’t a vital thing…though I know I feel better when I do. We’ll see how the weekend goes, I guess.

Smiley's!

Just realized that I haven’t put smiley’s on my calendar in 2 weeks! My calendar looks yellow now. :) yay.

Day 248-6

Morning came way too early today. I could have used another hour of sleep but I pulled my flabby butt out of bed and made it to the gym anyway. I ellipticated for 30 minutes, 374 calories, 2 miles, and alternated levels this morning – started at 4 for 10 minutes, level 5 for 5, level 6 for 5, level 5 for 5 and 4 for 5. A different workout – sort of.

I still enjoy going to they gym in the morning but today wasn’t quite as satisfying as before. I think I’m just too tired to enjoy it today. It has nothing to do with the weather – I love his dreary, gray-day weather, and besides at 5am all you see are stars anyway. Oh, and I made myself stay up instead of taking a nap when I got home…I actually feared laying down because I figured I wouldn’t get back up. Good thing I really have nothing on my calendar tonight – well a few errands and laundry but otherwise I can crash as soon as CSI is over. Thank goodness.

How freakin' cool is this?!?

I don’t have an iPod, but I want this jacket!

I know it's only Wednesday...

10 things I’ve learned this week

1. AM workouts rock!
2. Patience is good.
3. The ability to ignore is better.
4. Reading good articles while ellipticating makes time go faster. And works your brain as well as your body.
5. Ellipticating burns more calories – though the calorie counter can be deceiving.
6. Running helps your cardio more, though it can be harder on my knees.
7. Spinach is good in many, but not all, things.
8. Writing stats of running times (cals, miles, etc.) while running doesn’t work well.
9. Running on the far treadmill, away from the fan and people, is not only quieter, but helps you sweat more.
10. Stretching is key!
11. (one more for good measure) Napping in the morning is awesome.

Day 247-5

Not feeling well this morning so I ran for 30/5 instead of ellipticating (plus I wanted to take a longer nap this mornign). I did pretty well in the end actually – 324 cal and 2.8 miles. I started a spreadsheet to keep track of my progress throughout the week, plus I want to track how many calories these machines say I’m burning throughout the week so I can make this. Of course, my eating habits probably won’t help, but at least I’m trying.

I do need to work on my eating. I’ve been baking a lot lately – a nice stress reliever – and I can only give away so much. I’m trying to watch how much I sample, but it’s hard when chicken and salad are losing their appeal. Maybe once I get back from Alaska my focus can return. Plus I’ll be able to grill again, which will help.

One other thing I need to start is lifting again. I have a sheet from Keith to follow, but I’ve been scared to start…I think it’s the intimidation of Bally’s. I need to get over that.

Day 246-4

Elliptical today again – I’m starting to love this machine, which is odd since I used to hate it. Maybe getting older makes your head change. Very possible since when I was a kid I hated grapefruit and spinach, and now I love it…yes LOVE it.

So elliptical, 770 calories, 6.67 miles, level 4 random pattern, 65 avg rpm, for 45 minutes. Not bad. I got started a little later this morning, so my whole morning was off a little (of course, it’s still morning, but nonetheless).

Last Wed-Fri I had been able to work out and NOT take a nap when I got home, but the last two days ellipticating for 45 minutes really took it out of me, so I’ve been back to napping for 10 minutes or so after I shower. It’s not bad, but makes my morning a bit more rushed, though I’m still getting to work on time - sometimes even early! shocker!

Day 243-1, 244-2, 245-3

What a foolish weekend. Haha…get it? Saturday and Sunday I missed the gym, due to timing issues. But Saturday I made angel food cake and cupcakes. SO not on the SB diet but it had been a year since I had had any, so why not. The cupcakes didn’t turn out very well – my pans and oven suck. The cake was okay – in a loaf pan, which was a first for me. I’m going to try these this week and take them home for guards – or if I have enough and get them done on time, I may bring them Wednesday to choir. Osmo will be there, which is cool.

My eating plan has been sucking lately. Popcorn has been calling out to me and winning. SO not good. Anyway, so today to make up for that, I ellipticated for 45 minutes, 762 calories, 6.6 miles, 65rpm at level 4. These numbers seemed odd…maybe it was a 2 or 1 day for calories, and a 3.5 for 1 for miles. So either I need to increase my level or the machine is off. But if you can trust those machines, than this rocked. I read a lecture my friend gave to her workplace while I worked out. That made time go so much faster and really kept me going.

Day 242-31

Ran today. Needed to since I ate popcorn last night…I’m so weak! But ended the 30/5 minutes with 2.75 miles and 320 calories. Felt good though. I ran the first 17 minutes straight through, walked for 3, ran for 5, walked for 1, ran for 4, cool-down for 5. Lots of sweat. :)

I’m really enjoying getting up in the morning like this. Of course I yawned as I typed that, but seriously. It’s great to get up and get going in the morning, and often I get to see the sunrise since I’m up so early. I think this exercise thing is helping me too. I’m feeling a bit more organized. ~ okay so scratch that last one. ~

Day 241-30

What a day. It’s raining. I love the rain. But still tired today – trying to catch up on sleep from these shorter nights I’ve had lately. So, I ellipticated (maybe that’s the better verb tense) this morning instead of running. 30 min, 357 cal, 1.91 mil, 60 avg rpm.

Then I read this this morning:

You must burn 3,500 calories to lose 1 pound, according to the United States Tennis Association.
Top Burners in 30 minutes:

(1) Running (450 calories @ 6 mph)
(2) Stair Climber (400 calories)
(3) Step Aerobics (380 calories)
(4) Bicycling/Tennis/Swimming (370 calories)
(5) Rowing (320 calories)

Eating 500 fewer calories per day will result in a weight loss of 1 pound per week. Eating 250 fewer calories per day combined with a 250-calorie burning type exercise will also result in a weight loss of 1 pound per week. Combining diet with exercise is a healthier, more balanced, and more successful way of losing weight than by dieting alone.

I wonder if this is over a day or over a week, or just in general. If I’m burning 350 cal a day, 5 days a week that’s only 1750. I’m only half way there. I wish I could gage how many calories I burn throughout the day – but that’s hard since I’m eating, too. Maybe I just need to also ellipticate at night.

Day 240-29

Whoa. Yesterday was such a long day. Got up and ran, as I stated, then was at work early to help set up for a conference. Worked all day then at 4:15 started helping to set up for another event and was on my feet til 9:15. crashed hard last night, being dehydrated (hardly drank at all yesterday) and hungry (kind of missed supper, save a few crackers with cheese and ham).

BUT still got my BUTT out of bed this morning and ellipticaled (is that a word? Can it be made into a verb like we do with missional? Well, I’m going to.) for 30 minutes, Level 4, 1.90 miles, 330 calories. Nice burn in the muscles this morning. I took a long hot shower to try to loosen things up but I think I just used up all the hot water instead. I need a hot tub.

Day 239-28

Whew…ran this morning, and it felt good to a point. I learned, again, this morning why I prefer running alone. First, if you’re not running in sync with the person next to you, the off rhythm thump-thump-thump of their feet can really throw you off. Second, if the guy next to you is an avid marathoner, it can be quite daunting to try to keep your flabbing butt moving when he looks like a swizzle stick. And third, when the guy next to you not only listens and SINGS to his music, but also proceeds to hold a LOUD conversation with the walking woman next to him (so much so that she would comment and he would yell “what?” so she would have to yell her answer or comment back) the thought of running alone around the lake in the morning becomes SO much more appealing. Guh.

So I ran/jogged/walked for 30/5, 2.56 miles, burned 309 calories (if you can trust the machines), then went home and showered and napped. I really needed the nap today since I woke up at 12:15 this morning having only slept for 3 hours and then tossed and turned for the next 4. I hate that…it just makes the day hard. I’m guessing I’ll be crashing around 8:30 again this week like I did last. But onward through the fog…

Day 235-24, 236-25, 237-26, 238-27

Uffda – weekend was okay, I didn’t eat super great but I wasn’t awful either, until last night that is, when I ate popcorn for supper. man. But I did make a Guinness Cake so that’s a good thing.

Didn’t work out all weekend, but did make it in this morning and did the elliptical for 30 minutes. Can you trust those calorie counters? If so, then I burned quite a few and went over 4 miles. It’s a nice burn at least with mild sweating. I tried to keep my heartrate (if you can trust that sensor too) in the target zone instead of going over like I usually do. Hopefully it was beneficial all around.

Day 234-23

Okay…so peer pressure and stress sucks. Ate ice cream yesterday – way more than I wanted or needed or should have even thought about, and surprisingly it tasted pretty gross (yet, I ate it all). So not good. And then I had a jelly donut today! UGH! And it also tasted gross! What am I going to do with myself… just shoot me, shoot me now.

At the gym again this morning – rough morning getting out of bed since it was a later night last night with church and choir. So I jogged for 5 minutes to warm up, but I was trying to read FEN’s new short-story so I moved to the elliptical for 20 minutes. A smoother ride and intense. I didn’t sweat as much but I got a nice burn in my legs and actually burned more calories faster (if you can believe the computer program on the machine). I’ll have to mix up my cardio I think and add that to the mix on occasion though. It was a nice change.

Day 233-22

WOOHOO! 3 days in a row. Though I almost didn't make it. I had to encourage me to get up but once I did I felt good. Went to bed last night at 8:30 though I was so tempted to go to bed when I got home from Lo-To with JB at 7:30. I forced myself to stay up another hour – did dishes, watched DH from the 12^th…then I couldn’t keep my eyes open so I crashed. I’m blaming it on the lesser amounts of sleep, the martini, and the massage.

But this morning was good. Ran my 1.5 mile without stopping – not the best time but it is going down at least. Then walked for 2 minutes and ran the rest of the time. This is an improvement even on the last two days. Then I went home and slept for 20 minutes. I love morning naps. They’re so inspiring. :)

Day 232-21

Day two in the gym at 5am…uffda. Tired today and I even went to bed at 0930. it feels good to run right away in the am though. I did get my fake mp3 player working (a special a few months ago from avon, no less) so I don’t have to worry about the cd skipping and I picked up new headphones that go over the ears so I didn’t have to mess with those. Ah, the little pleasures in life. I do find it funny that I get up at 4:45, get to the gym by 5:15, run/walk for 30-35 minutes, drive home and then I take a 15 minute nap before getting ready for work. I’m so weird.

Food is okay – I am packing my own food for lunch and such, which is a big step. The jelly donuts keep calling out to me though. Hopefully they won’t be too detrimental in the end.

Day 231-20

Starting the week out well. Got up at 4:45 this morning and dressed and went to the gym. Ran for 30 minutes – good but a little rough since I haven’t actually ran since last Sunday – just been lifting and tossing snow. Hopefully this AM running routine will help. At least I won’t feel guilty at night when I don’t go, but if I am able to go again at night, I’ll feel doubly good! Plus I was able to eat breakfast and down 32 oz of CL before I left for work…a good start to the day. Of course, I just had 6 donut holes…but with the stress of the job this morning…that seems mild. Plus Keith had said to eat more carbs in the AM hours instead of PM. But here I go...on the road to a new and hopefully improved self! woohoo!

Day 228-17, 229-18, 230-19

Uffda. Weekend was pretty pathetic. I eat like crap on the weekends. Case in point: Sunday AM I got up for church, had 2 hard boiled eggs (sans yolk) and then at 10, btwn services, I had 6 cookies. I got home and read the paper, had 2 more cookies and felt so tired that I took a 2 hour nap. I got up at 3:30 and realized I hadn’t eaten really that day, so I had my chicken salad. Then off to the movies where I had popcorn :( and a DC.

On a good note I did get my food put together for the week – I made my spinach/egg casserole and had my salad all put together for this morning. Someday I’ll figure this all out.

Day 227-16

FINALLY! I got home Thursday night, and though I should have shoveled I opted to veg a little instead. So I did a load of laundry, marinated my chicken in a tasty mix*, and had a bubble bath. AH…I should have gone to the gym, or spent a couple hours scraping off more of the snow from the sidewalks since apparently I don’t get them clean enough (ahem, Charlie).

*The chicken marinade was good (2Tbsp honey, ¼ cup low-sodium soy sauce, 1 clove garlic minced and a Tbsp of something else – I can’t remember) but I don’t have a broiler pan so I just baked it instead. That didn’t do much to the chicken so I’ll probably wait to make this again til I can grill them.

But at least I can have my salad Friday with my chicken instead of walking to Speedy for a sandwich or eating cookies and DC like yesterday. (oops)

Day 226-15

Maybe I should be thankful for the snow – at least it’s getting me out shoveling… I’m doing something by ways of exercise. But yuck…enough already! Oh wait, it’s snowing again…nevermind. So another small smiley – 45 minutes Wed. AM for shoveling out the garbage area. Of course then I get home Wed. night from choir and see that the city had plowed the streets so my approach was full again. ugh. Food sucking again today – soon and very soon I’ll be back on track with my eating plan.

Day 225-14

Shoveled Tuesday am…that was a small smiley, not a big one like Monday. Eating like crap. Haven’t had time to even cook at night. I can’t wait til this week from hell is done…then back on track.

day 224-13

Does shoveling my driveway for 3 hours count for a smiley? I think it does…a big-ass smiley. Just a little one for this morning since I was only out there an hour.

Ugh snow.

Day 222-11, 223-12

WOOHOO! Two smileys for me! I went to the gym Friday night, shocked at how many people were there at 7pm – I thought I was the only one without a life. Huh. But ran to the disc from keith…kick ass. Saturday I vegged – took the day off and made cookies instead. Plus I was a little sore from Friday – not surprising since I haven’t ran since January (uffda). Sunday AM I got up, skipping church since I was going at 7pm anyway, and ran again. Again, shocked at how many people were at the gym at 8:30 on a Sunday morn. No wonder our churches are in trouble – they’re all at the gym. Maybe there’s a ministry for someone to start: communion on the treadmill, preaching to the pavement pounders, whatever. My disc was again kicking butt but my disc player sucked. It kept stopping and then skipping. So I’ll have to get a new player I guess. Crappy. But I need to do it anyway, the ear plugs hurt my ears and kept falling out on Sunday. Need to save what little hearing I have left. But the running felt great. I’m hoping to go tonight but with all the shoveling I’ll have to do I probably won’t make it in. Tomorrow is the Guthrie and Wednesday is choir so I’m not back to the gym til Thursday if I don’t go tonight. We’ll see how I feel. I know Charlie was shoveling the front walk this morning but the driveway hasn’t been touched. I guess I should have gotten up at 5 and shoveled, but at the rate it was coming down it would have been back to that same level by 7 when I left anyway.

Days 218-7, 219-8, 220-9, 221-10

Ugh. I have been eating like crap. I chalk it up to ragweek but it just sucks. And I haven’t been in the gym in a month. (no smiley’s) :(

So I’m going to make a turn around – today, the 10^th, has already sucked for food – since I forgot breakfast in the container on the stove and ate blechy cafeteria breakfast and lunch instead. Ew…I just feel the fat growing on my body. Ew.

I know I keep saying this but I really need to take a stand for my body – I would like to lose 10 pounds by my birthday. I think this was part of my initial goal back when I started this whole SB thing 7 odd months ago, not that I ever stated it. I for sure what to be below 140 by Alaska time (April 18) so that gives me 3 weeks or so to my birthday, and over a month to Alaska. I should be able to do it, even with the cookies.

Chicken!

I miss you, K. I had my leftover chicken today at lunch and someone walked by and said, “What is that?” And I, of course, yelled out, “Chicken!”

Miss ya, girl. I need to come visit soon.

Day 215-3, 216-4, 217-5, 217-6

O! the weekend sucked. I felt like crap last weekend…maybe a touch of the flu Carol had or maybe just the sudden change in my eating plan again. I haven’t had a homemade cookie in over a week. I’m beginning to suffer from withdrawl and I’m supplementing with SF candy, jello and pudding. Not a good idea. So then to get my body back on track I ate ‘real’ food this weekend (i.e. krispy kreme donuts, BK, frozen yogurt). I think it actually helped. Yesterday I felt SO much better and was able to eat fairly normal. Last night I made up an egg/spinach bake thing – kind of like the spinach quiche cups in the SB book but not completely. I would have made my spinach/egg casserole but I forgot turkey to cut into it and it’s really bland without it. AND I made my spicy chicken again. mmmm. Good eats for the day.

The next step: getting my butt back to Bally’s.

day 213-1, 214-2

Okay so my Lenten journey of no cookies and starting Phase 1 has already been blown. So much for self control. Maybe that’s what I should have worked on. In my defense, guard weekend is coming up and it’s a paper weekend so I know it’ll be stressful (a good stressful though) so I’ll be munching a lot. Sunday I’m shopping again so Monday will be a true Phase 1, all with whoosh week and everything. One month to my goal date so I really need to get my ass in gear…literally. Monday also will bring Bally’s back into my life. I have to or I’m afraid I’ll balloon back up to that evil weight and I just can’t do that to myself again. I’m worth more than that.

oreos?

These people have sugar free chocolate sandwich cookies that seriously taste like Oreos. mmmm

day 212-28

Tuesday would have been a good day if I had been a good girl…but instead I had the jelly donut, then I went out to don pablo’s with a friend, which would have been fine but I had the chips and salsa and a rum & dc.

So today begins phase 1 all over again. it’s okay though…maybe better to start at the beginning of the month – clean slate and all that.

fat girl

I would have been fine if john hadn’t come to my desk with a jelly donut. Dammit. So I ate the jelly donut and I’m on phase 1. I’m so horrible. No wonder I’m fat. :(

Day 211-27

Monday was okay. I’m doing okay without cookies, but I think I’m just compensating with SF candy. That’s probably not a good thing. But spinach/egg casserole & HB egg for breakfast; jello for snack; salad with chicken/cheese/OG dressing and jello for lunch; cheese for snack; garlic/parm. chicken for supper.

Day 210-26

Sunday was a decent day. Eggs for breakfast, dc and cheese for snack, sb pizza for supper (had to get rid of it), but then…the attack of the SF Reese’s PB cups. AARRGGHH! Oh well…I missed supper because I was working on a project for my taxes and snacked on these in the meantime.

So Monday starts Phase 1 again. yay! The goal is to get to my goal I had back in August – I want to be there by my birthday – that gives me a little over a month to lose 10 pounds. I have a couple whoosh weeks in there so hopefully this’ll be possible.

Go moe.

Day 208-24, 209-25

The cookies are gone from my house now. I gave all the snickerdoodles to Debbie. I’ll probably make more sometime since it’s become more therapy than anything, but I’ll be certain to take them to school or guards instead of eating them all myself. Pants have been a little snug this past week or so…not a good thing. So tomorrow will officially begin Phase 1 again. Wanted to start today, but had an SB pizza left in my freezer that would have taunted me the next two weeks…so tomorrow it is. I think I’m also going to try getting up early and working out in the AM instead of at night. the night thing hasn’t been working lately…I’m not sure the morning will be much better but if I’m determined I think I can. I’ll just be the little engine that could.

So the recipe from the previous post didn’t come through so here it is (in green is what I used, in blue is the stuff I left out…I’m too picky sometimes. And I got 3 servings out of this, but I also used 20 oz of chicken instead of 1/2 pound and left off all the messy extras – which also explains why I didn’t use all the stuff):

Salsa Chicken
Serves 2

Ingredients
4 cups finely shredded iceberg lettuce
1 1/2 tablespoons chili powder
1/2 teaspoon ground cumin
1/2 pound boneless, skinless chicken breast, cut into 1" pieces
1 large egg whites
1 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil
4 ounces chunky tomato salsa
1⁄4 cup fat-free sour cream
Cilantro sprigs (optional)

Instructions
Divide the lettuce among 2 individual plates, cover and set aside. In a bowl, combine the chili powder and cumin. Add the chicken, turning to coat. Lift the chicken from the bowl, shaking off the excess coating. Dip the chicken into the egg white, then coat again with the remaining dry mixture.

Heat the oil in a wide nonstick frying pan or wok over medium heat. When the oil is hot, add the chicken and stir-fry gently until no longer pink in the center. Cut to test (5–7 minutes). Remove the chicken from the pan and keep warm. Pour the salsa into the pan; reduce the heat to medium and cook, stirring, until the salsa is heated through and slightly thickened.

Arrange the chicken over the lettuce; top with the salsa and sour cream. Garnish with cilantro sprigs, if using.

Day 207-23

I kind of came to a decision last night. Sunday I’m going to start Shrovetide and have all my cookies gone or given away and with Shrovetide I’m going to restart Phase 1 of SB. Maybe during the Lenten 40 days of fasting I can have a purpose-driven weight loss and exercise regime occurring. I still have 10 pounds of my initial goal to lose and i've been avoiding that goal for awhile. I think now is the time to take those steps again. It takes 21 days to make a habit, so maybe 40 days will help to reinstall the good habits I had started back in August.

Made this recipe last night. If the link doesn’t work, let me know and I’ll put the recipe here. I made some alterations – like leaving out the egg whites, sour cream, lettuce and cilantro (yeah, pretty much half the recipe - oh well). Pretty much just chicken and spice. But damn good.

Day 206-22

E brought up a good point about Mardi Gras, happening next Tuesday. It’s the time of gorging on food as a way of ‘preparing’ for Lent. I like the idea of Shrove Tuesday a bit better (with the self-examination, confession of sins and receiving absolution) but til that becomes more prominent we'll just have to keep with this.

I haven’t thought much about Lenten disciplines because it never seems to be something I do well. (Hell, I can’t even discipline myself now - I’m not disciplined enough in general, I guess.) But I think this year would be good for me to really think about – no more cookies, exercise more, daily meditation.

It seems almost like a New Year’s Resolution which I guess in a way it would be. Lent, though in the middle of the year, is really a preparation for Christ’s death and resurrection. We know how it will end (I think about the disciples who had no clue and how much more traumatic that must have been), we know the outcome – we know the greatness of the Easter moment…but to really feel that greatness I think we need to see Lent is a very important time – a time to focus on what’s coming and our service to the Lord.

Not sure this is done by giving up on cookies and exercising more but maybe that’ll help.

Day 200-16, 201-17, 202-18, 203-19, 204-20, 205-21

I think I’ve been avoiding this blog. Cookies and Diet Coke with Splenda. I did make my spinach/egg casserole thing from the Low-Carb Bible cookbook E&K gave me for Christmas. I had portioned it out last night and left one of the portions on the stove this morning. Aren’t I smart.

Really, other than cookies, my eating isn’t bad. I drink a lot of CL throughout the day, usually 1 to 1 ½ DC’s a day during the week (on the weekend reverse this), I eat my eggs for breakfast, salad with chicken or turkey loaf for lunch, a light supper…snacking on jello and cheese. It’s just the cookies. I feel like I’m turning into this.

Next I need to get back to Bally's. I had a dream last night that I was doing pushups (25 girl pushups for a warm-up, then I moved to regular push-ups and did them the appropriate way and did 50. Somehow the normal ones didn't hurt like the girl pushups did. weird. I think this dream stemmed from reading about Jack Palance at the Oscar's). I think this is a hint.

Day 199-15

Not bad Wednesday…had a good breakfast, then SB wrap for lunch…but then Wendy’s spicy chicken for supper – felt like crap this morning because of it. blech. Maybe I just need more cookies.

Day 198-14

Funny. I weighed in this morning…still at 143. Yet I eat cookies by the pound. This is going to catch up to me soon, I fear, and it won’t be pretty. Maybe my drinking all that CL yesterday helped. Let’s hope so…

I’ve been forgetting to eat supper lately…eating cookies instead. This is the second night in a row I haven’t eaten a real meal at night. Probably not a good thing…could be because I need to get groceries or I’m just so tired and unmotivated to do much of any cooking. Who knows?

Went to Keith yesterday…that was good. A much needed hour on the table – of course it took me 30 minutes to relax and enjoy it but when I finally did, I really zoned out – so much so it took me awhile to actually get up. Oh well.

I have to find a good recipe for this weekend. J is having back surgery today and asked me to come over this weekend sometime with dinner and a movie to keep him company. Should be doable…just need to figure out what to make. I’m thinking maybe my ginger chicken from the SB book. That’s easy and yummy. But we’ll see.

Day 197-13

Ooooo….SO not good. I’m feeling my rolls returning. TOO many cookies and SO many excuses to avoid the gym. I have to quit that. (The excuses, not the gym)

Day 193-9, 194-10, 195-11, 196-12

Let’s see…Thursday I made cookies, Friday I ate cookies, Saturday I made more cookies (for a project actually) but I also ate cookies, Sunday I finished the cookies (the project, not eating them all) and didn’t make anymore. But I did make chocolate covered Strawberries.

I hate stress. Stress eating is the worst. My diet is consisting of diet coke and cookies. MUST get to the gym tonight. ugh.

Day 190-6, 191-7, 192-8

Okay let’s just be honest. My diet sucks. I started … crap I just realized I used ‘diet’. Dammit. No wonder I’m messed up. Let’s try this again.

Okay let’s just be honest. My meal plans suck. I started brining my lunch again on Monday, not that I had stopped, but it was salad with chicken and my eggs and stuff…good eats, but the I don’t eat supper or I eat cookies, and more cookies. Last night I ate SB stuff all day, not that that’s bad but it’s not good. Then I went to the Chatterbox and had garlic squash dip (which was really yummy, by the way). And today I actually ate the Buffet Ole food they had in the café. Money will really change your mindset for things (free meal since I blew up balloons). But all I want is to eat cookies. But I’m out of cookies. Which is probably a good thing. Ugh. I haven’t been to the gym in almost 3 weeks now. No wonder I feel like crap. Guh.

Day 189-5

UFF DA! I have no self control and I’m chalking it up to PMS though it’s probably something worse. Mom sent her leftover retirement cake with me to guards and I had 3, yes THREE, pieces before we left for home. Practically pure sugar. Ugh! Then I get home and I made cookies! (I only ate 2 of those and they were low-fat sugar cookies, but I fear I’ll be frosting them tonight) What is wrong with me?

Days 186-2, 187-3, 188-4

Kind of a rough start to the month. Cookies are evil. I hate fit testing. And bread is just not good anymore. Well…lemme ‘splain…no there is too much…lemme sum up.

So all my cookies are gone now…and I ate most of them. I tried a new recipe Wed. night that were supposed to be jelly filled but I couldn’t get the sides to work right (which means I’ll have to try them again sometime so I can get it to work right). So I just frosted those and went with it.

Fit testing sucks…I can’t get my recovery rate to be low enough. Last year I had a recovery rate of 108 for a fitness age of 33. This time I was at 114 which, apparently, ages me 17 years – which really makes no sense. So I passes but I failed…what’s that in the LS world? An “M”. ugh. It doesn’t keep me away from Alaska but I do get to test again in August…well maybe April. I think if I can get my run time low enough then I’ll be okay…they don’t test your heart rate after the run – that’s all a timing issue. So there’s another goal to add to the ever growing list. Ugh.

And bread…I had a hamburger last night…oh wait, no. I had a butterburger last night. I’m not really impressed with their burgers but oh well…I won’t be eating another anytime soon so it doesn’t matter all that much…other than I feel like crap this morning.

Today is the super bowl. Good thing I’m basically on the road or in church the whole time. Not that I really care about it anyway. But I’m being like E and whatever parts of it I do watch, I’ll be watching alone. By choice. Without cookies. :)

Day 185-1

So Feb 1 marked 6 months exactly since I started SB. Interesting to see the changes from then til now. Back then I felt horribly fat and needed to make some changes. Today I just feel fat and still need to make changes.

Sad, I know…I’m so great at self-deprecation. But it’s really about perspectives. 6 months ago I knew I had to do something or I was going to really lose control of myself and I couldn’t let that happen. Now I look at me and realize that though a lot of the weight is gone, it’s been gone for awhile and I’m getting used to the ‘new’ me which is starting to look fat again.

Could be that I haven’t been running as much as I was so I’m not feeling how I should.
Could be that I’ve been eating/making too many cookies to really see anything good in me.
Could be that time of the month. God help the woman with PMS.

I have a few weeks til I hopefully go to Texas. A few measly weeks to get my ass in gear and get back on track.
It’s been 6 months…maybe it’s time for a re-ignition. I need a new goal and focus.

But what will that be?

Day 183-30, 184-31

Sort of back on schedule for eating, the cookies are a little detrimental but otherwise I’m doing okay. But I made a spinach, egg thing for breakfast – not bad – I’ve been bringing that to work each day this week, then my standard salad with chicken and cheese for lunch. Supper is a little rough. Monday was an SB bar; Tuesday was wingy and veggies at OC then an SB bar to cut down on the alcohol I ingested. :) hopefully Wed will be better.

Day 181-28, 182-29

Not the best weekend but I’ve had worse. Saturday was pretty standard. Talked with K&E which was great…I think I’m with them on this – it’s going to really come down to the gym anymore. The eating thing just isn’t cutting it like it did in August.

Sunday I went to the May Day with A2. Pretty cool place. I’ll have to visit there again. Then I basically didn’t eat until 8:30 – I snacked on cookies (stone crock cookies and snickerdoodles – two new recipes I tried yesterday) but not that many. But then at 8:30 I was just craving tuna – seriously…craving tuna. I have no idea why, probably lack of protein but weird craving to have. So I had tuna and it was good. Strange…

Day 178-25, 179-26, 180-27

Garlic parmesan chicken Wed. night. mmm mmm good, though it smells like ‘farm’ when I make it, so I have all the fans in my house running whenever it’s baking to deter the smells elsewhere. Not bad for food Wednesday, but still not very good either. I’m thinking Monday will have to be a restart week again – not my typical cleansing restart (though that probably wouldn’t hurt either) but a true moving back to Phase 1. Like my friends, I’ve been struggling – though I haven’t had to deal with cheese, beer and pasta church functions…I just have to deal with my pathetic self and lack of self-control.

Oh and I’ve gained back a few pounds, which sucks, but then I look at my list of decreasing weight since last July and I think, damn, at least I’m not 20 pounds heavier like I was back then. But then I pass the mirror which reminds me that I still am fat, even if I am thinner than I was. And then Mark will walk up to me and say, “Hey Skinny” which boosts my ego, but then the mirror finds me again. maybe I just need to get rid of the mirrors.

I haven’t been to the gym since uhg, what Saturday? Crap. I’m so screwed next week. tomorrow I must go.

Day 177-24

National Peanut Butter Day. And I think all I had to celebrate was Reese’s SF PB Cups.

Seriously, I AM my own worst enemy. I did finally return to eggs for breakfast, but only because I had 4 HB’d ones that I didn’t use for the spinach/egg thing I was going to make from my new cookbook (I didn’t have the ham needed…so alas, this will be for Saturday instead). And I did have my salad for lunch, but then it all got shot to hell. Deb and I went to the Yarn Café after work and didn’t eat supper, so getting home at 8:45pm I was famished…but instead of eating something healthy, I had 6 cookies. Horrible.

I think I need to return this blog to a food journal and write down what I eat each day. Maybe that’ll help me keep on track better. So the 2 of you who actually read this, be forewarned…coming soon to the blog near you…daily reports of what Moe is actually eating. O! joy, O! rapture!

I am actually really stoked about this...now I just need to find them at the store!

Day 176-23

I’m my own worst enemy. If only I could beat myself up then I’d be okay. Well, I guess I could, but that may lead to some serious psychological disorders (I mean, worse than I already have). I missed national pie day. I can’t believe I did that. Probably better for the ever-expanding waistline but MAN! I had a logical excuse to bake an apple pie again, and I missed it! Well, I may have to have a delayed celebration and combine it with the Chinese New Year coming up on Sunday. Yeah, that’ll work.

Didn’t work out last night. Headed toward the gym but it was snowing pretty hard and I feared I’d have to get up and shovel so I opted to wait it out. Big mistake since in the end there wasn’t enough snow to make it even worthwhile. I’m so stupid.

Day 173-20, 174-21, 175-22

Wow 175 days and the last few have sucked. I am my own worst enemy. (what’s the saying, keep your friends close and your enemies closer?) Friday went to the Chatterbox with IL. That was fun and good eats but SO not on SB. Oh well. Saturday and Sunday went okay. Made CC cookies Sunday night and that was basically supper. Someday maybe I’ll figure things out.

Saturday I did hit the gym (smiley for me!) and it was awesome. I took the latest pron with me and read while I ran: excellent diversion which helped me to run faster and longer. I felt great when I was finished, and subsequently was sore on Sunday (not surprising since I hadn’t run since Monday). I need to keep this up since I have to do the fit test on the 4^th (though I think this will be the damn step test – joy).

Day 172-19

Uffda. I haven’t been to the gym since Monday. This is so not good. And last night was HO’s last surprise retirement party at the Liffey with great appetizers and lots to drink. What a great night but oh so detrimental for the diet! And tonight is supper with IL, so no gym tonight either. Tomorrow is going to hurt.

I will say it’s funny – I was talking to JR last night and she was commenting on how she has seen me lose weight over the past few months and was feeling jealous (maybe?). So last night I looked in the mirror again and I just don’t see it. I think I’ve talked about this before but I wonder if I’ll ever see myself as thinner or will I always be fat in my eyes. I think SK has it right here (fourth paragraph especially). Maybe someday my brain will catch up with my body, but right now it’s so not happening. SO I just smile and nod when people tell me I look thinner, and I chuckle as I pull my size 10 pants around and fold the waistband over knowing I could go smaller but also feeling fearful of going and actually buying new pants for fear that I will balloon up again and the smaller size will just hang in my closet like the skirts I bought years ago (which I can fit into now but have no reason to ever wear them).

day 171-18

Iffy day. I’m really into phase 2 I think – well I must be since I had a meal replacement bar for breakfast yesterday AND today. oh well. Phase 2 is okay. OH, and no smiley again – I’m such a loser. I ended up catching Sarah up on the weekend which led to a very long discussion and me missing supper (well, jello and sun chips).

day 170-17

Last night I felt like crap. I don’t know why…I’ve gone through my list of eats for the day and nothing was out of the ordinary (except maybe week old chicken, but it didn’t smell bad). So I don’t know. I woke up this morning feeling crappy too, though that’s getting better. No smiley yesterday – had the Guthrie instead. Leaving work early today to work out before choir. Excellent – I’ll be all red faced and tired when I get to see Ethan. Oh well…the struggles I go through to get skinny.

day 169-16

I don’t know what’s wrong with me. Saturday I slept in til 11, but with good reason since I was up til 2. But Monday…WHY did I need to sleep til 11? I went to bed at 10:30! This is why days off are bad. They throw me out of sync with the rest of my life.
But the day wasn’t a total waste. I worked out in the afternoon which was good since due to appointments I won’t make it back til Friday (maybe Thursday). Uffda. Food okay, but not the greatest. Oh well…Tuesday is back to ‘normal’ so it should be better.

Day 166-13, 167-14, 168-15

I’m not sure what I’m doing. I think I’m on phase 1.5 but not quite phase 2, yet phase 2 is a lot like 1.5 except that I don’t have carbs everyday. It’s odd, but okay. Friday I went running in the afternoon (I love comp time) then had a SB pizza for supper. I was feeling really tired and I thought it might be because I have had much for carbs besides lettuce lately so I thought a few might not hurt. Of course that leads to another pizza Saturday and another today. Oh well. Tomorrow I’ll be back to just meat and salad which is good.

The only bad thing is that my back has been hurting lately. I’m not sure if it’s because Saturday I slept til 11 (not having gone to bed til 2 so really 9 hours like normal) and then sat in a chair all day watching movies, knitting and reading. It was just weird. I woke up Sunday with my back in pain. It sucks because I don’t get to see Keith this week. I’m feeling okay now but hopefully this won’t become a trend.

So I have just the rest of this evening to go. I brought a meal replacement bar so I don't have to eat at the cafe and celery and SB cookies to snack on. Tomorrow back to the grind.