day 134-12

K had a very valid point with yesterday’s post(s). I do need to do this to keep accountable, but maybe I need to do it slightly differently. Instead of just listing what I’ve eaten or not, I need to be looking at the why. Why haven’t I been eating protein? Why have I let myself slip in the mini 3 musketeer bars on occasion again, knowing they have full sugar in them? Why have I been just eating cookies and cereal? (as I did yet again today, yet I did have eggs for breakfast)

Part of it may be because I’m feeling quite stressed with money and I don’t feel I can afford the food I usually eat – lots of chicken, subway, sb meals. Healthy food seems to add up in the pocketbook faster than ‘bad’ food. But that’s not all of it because I have chicken and steak in the freezer.

Part of it could be I’m just feeling more down than I usually do this time of the year – stemming from this transition I’m still feeling with my friends all far away and I’m in this limbo stage – way more than last year. (more on this at the other blog) And when I start to feel this way, I get into comfort food mode. Apparently cookies are my comfort food – pizza would be but I can’t eat the cheap, fake, white-trash pizza anymore so the sb is the only kind for me and at $3 a pop, it seems a bit hefty.

I didn’t make it to the gym last night, opting to finish a Xmas present instead – which probably was stupid since I probably shouldn’t give it anyway. So tonight, though I need to make krumkake for the advent tea (and I won’t have time tomorrow with choir) I absolutely need to get to the gym, even if for 30 minutes to run. I did feel better last week after I had done this and I’m sorry I didn’t last night. It may help me sleep better (been restless lately) and of course I’ll feel better in the end.

Or maybe I just need to start taking vitamins.