just say no...

I’m eating a donut. And it’s good.

But I’m sure I’ll be sick later.

Damn peer pressure.

Days 145-23 through 150-28

I’d list them all but not worth it at this point. This weekend was a bomb but so much fun. Christmas brings goodies galore. We went with a low-key, low-stress Christmas dinner: Pizza from Papa Murphy’s and the traditional relish dish (inside joke). But then we ALL brought treats – I had made cookies, Joey had made treats, Lisa had made treats…it was insane! I haven’t weighed in this week because I fear that I’ve gained back the 5 pounds I’ve lost in the last month. I’m counting the days til convo is done so I can restart myself. That is the good thing about the SB thing – I can always go back to the beginning. I feel like Inigo Montoya. “…when a job went wrong, you went back to the beginning. And this is where we got the job. So it's the beginning, and I'm staying till Vizzini comes.” Now I just need Vizzini to come and fix it all.

Perception is an interesting thing. I’m lighter now than I have been since college – COLLEGE! – and yet lately as I look at myself I still see me as fat. I probably always will. It’d be nice to just once be happy with myself for longer than a week. Maybe this’ll be the year to do that.

I’m still working on my next set of lifestyle changes. It’s been 5 months so it’s time to readjust things again. I’ll list them here once I figure them out. Accountability is key.

day 144-22

Last night was almost a disaster...I ALMOST had popcorn. But I didn’t. I kept hearing E’s words ringing in my ear, “no popcorn. Eat cheese.” But I wasn’t in the mood for cheese either so I had scrambled egg whites (with one yolk) and Special K protein plus for supper instead. Interestingly enough, I discovered the Special K Protein Plus has Less carbs and sugar and more protein than the South Beach cereal. Hello?! And it tastes pretty good!

Anyway, today (the 23^rd) is my last day here in the cities til Tuesday so after today my diet will be shot to hell. Pizza is our Christmas dinner of choice – plus crackers and cheese to snack on (along with the cookies and krumkake I’ll be making today). but next week I’m back in the gym – at least running and then after convo I’ll be getting back on a more regular schedule. I must!

day 143-21

I am such a lazy ass. I EASILY could have gone to the gym last night, but did i? nooooo. No I decide to sit at home and watch stupid TV, knit and take a bath instead. Pathetic, I am.

Tonight I’m making more cookies to take home. We decided to do pizza for Christmas and then snack on spichamere and cheese and crackers. But it just isn’t Christmas without krumkake and pb cookies. So alas, that is my goal today. Maybe the gym. I really need to get there or keith is going to kill me.

day 142-20

Yesterday was great – SB bar in the AM for breakfast, a few cookies, Subway for lunch, human contact meeting, then Good Earth for supper with Debbie. MMMM. My HCM was incredible, not that I remember much of it, but I do know that Keith and I talked about goals and future stuff. I wish I could think faster on my feet…that may be something to work on. I told him I was 10 pounds from my goal. He said, great, when is the deadline for your goal. Wow…I have no real deadline. I knew when I started in August that I wanted to lose 30 pounds, but having a deadline for that? Yeah, I don’t think I set one…nope… I didn’t. I just had the pseudo goal.

And I think part of why I didn’t set a specific deadline is because I didn’t want to put a final date on this and then if I don’t make it I’ll feel awful and like a failure and since I can do that pretty well on my own without deadlines I didn’t want to do that with this. Besides – it’s a Lifestyle Change – not a diet.

But I also know that I need to have some sort of goal/deadline on the exercise side. Initially I had said the 10K in February, but everyone knows I won’t make that. Probably a bad goal to set anyway since it’s really out of reach - not only physically but financially (though springing money to see Schlenker would be worth it - *sigh* Schlenker). But what kind of goal to have? Work out until I’m ripped? Uh, no. I’m not jay. Work out until I can run a mile at 6.5 without stopping? Maybe… But probably since I do have to run 1.5 miles in March or do the freakin’ step test again, I probably should go somewhere along those lines. 50 pushups by Feb 28. 100 crunches by Feb. 28. 1.5 miles in no more than 15 minutes by Feb 28. Step test, heart rate at 100 by Feb 28. I don’t know – are these smart goals?

i also was thinking today about perception again. The key to life is perception - I've lost 20 pounds. Initially I felt skinny, but now I'm starting to feel fat again - and it's not because of the cookies - but i'm perceiving myself as big. I'll always think I'm fat, even if I'm a twig. It's the nature of the beast, I think. too many years being the fat girl. When ever will I see myself as a smaller woman? I look at larger women I work with or I see on the street and I see myself in them. I think people see me that way too. It's not healthy. Someday this will pass. Maybe it's just the season. :)

Day 141-19

It’s hard to believe I’ve been going at this for 141 days. Wow…that seems forever (yet not). I was reflecting this morning on my self-care routine which began back in mid-July. Self-care is so important and i’m glad I stepped up and took it upon myself to do something to better me – for a better me. I just had a thought that LS really should have a class on that, but taking a class from an instructor on self-care seems like an oxymoron almost.

But I’ve been doing so many things to help me in so many ways: SB, natch; joining Ballys; going to Keith. Those are just the physical things. I also purchased season tickets to the Guthrie – to help my theatre and social life (of course I go alone, but still). I’m working on the relationships I have and am being a bit more cautious about whom I let into my life – life is too short to be stressing about friendships and being taken advantage of or feeling inadequate within them. There are still friends I don’t see near enough but they are always in my heart and mind, but right now just isn’t a good time to be ‘with’ them – for whatever reason.

Now also seems a good time to start thinking about the next year. This past year was my year of turning 30 and that sort of triggered all these changes in me. Now I’ll be 31 and I need to continue to do these changes and implement some more.

My friend Tre has a list of things she wants to do before she dies. Being an avid list-maker, as she is, I haven’t done this – which is shocking in the least. But here’s that fear – I fear that if I made the list and I wasn’t able to complete them that I would feel VERY inadequate and more of a failure than I usually do. So I haven’t made that list. I’ve been thinking lately that maybe I should suck it up and do it. (See Noogie’s post on fear) Or do it on a smaller scale – things I want to do before I turn 32. Then it’s not the clichéd resolution list for new year’s but a list of goals and lifestyle changes to improve my life (like kissing a guy under the mistletoe at Xmas - you know something really vital :) ). I’ll have to think about this and maybe post them here so I can be held accountable. There something daunting about putting it out on the internet for my friends to read, b/c again if I don’t achieve the goals, then it’s not just in my head, but everyone will know. But maybe that’s the challenge. I guess we’ll see.

Day 138-16, 138-17, 140-18

So I weighed in on Saturday or Sunday this weekend – I can’t remember which – and I’m at 145. YAY! 10 pounds to go. Though really I’m not uncomfortable at this point. I’m thinking of doing this if I can find the cash sometime. But my cash should probably go for new clothes first since these are so baggy. Though if i do do this, then i could maybe buy even smaller clothes! Oh and my hair is getting long. Well longish, considering I used to have a haircut quite close to a high and tight on a guy.

Not overly thinking about what I’m eating but I’m not eating horribly either – though 5 pb cookies with dark choc. kisses for supper Saturday wasn’t the best option. But you can’t beat warm, fresh cookies. Had salmon Sunday night at A&K’s. that was downright yummy. I had one piece of bread (NY Rye from the Finnish Bistro, as it is now named) and wanted another but held off. Yay me.

Day 137-15

I broke down and bought sb pizza when I was picking up more baking supplies. It’ll be very good when January comes. I’ll be back on phase 1 after convo/guards. I figure the next two weeks are pretty much a loss and the week of convo I’ll be out with friends drinking and eating wingy! so I might as well just suck it up and wait til after that to reset myself. Things haven’t been bad – weighing today (as it’s the middle of the month) and I’m maintaining between 146 and 148, which is so much better than I thought I’d be at after what I have been eating lately. So something I’m doing is right. That helps my attitude at least.

Emotionally I’m so much better today than I have been. Maybe it’s the lack of students, maybe it’s the greater amount of sleep (well the accurate amount at least) or maybe it’s finally letting go of some of the stress. Things are getting checked off – shopping is done which is good, students are basically gone which is better, HO’s party is done, and I’m taking some afternoons off over the next couple weeks which helps not only my vacation time but mentality.

day 136-14

Not a bad day. Not the best either. I didn’t bring any cookies with me and at about 9am I had the sugar withdrawl. I felt like Elaine Benes in the episode with all the birthday parties and get-well parties and 4pm sugar fix. I broke down and bought cookies from the café but EW! Not to be biased but I love my cookies…so much better. Oh well. Eventually I’ll be able to break myself of this, but since I know that won’t happen until after Christmas I’m just going to try to keep it to a minimum and not eat an entire batch at a time. Man…even that seems like a lofty goal at this point.

Feeling a bit better today, emotionally at least. Maybe it’s that students are almost gone. Maybe it’s finding out that kent had a stroke (update – found out today 12/15 that he passed away overnight) or that mike’s mom died that has changed my mood. Death shouldn’t be a happy thing, and it’s not, but it definitely can be a wake up call. Hello! Life is way too short to be worrying about this nonsense I have been. Nothing in my life is life threatening (except the other crazy MN drivers) and in reality things are going really well. As Keith said once, it’s all a matter a perspective.

day 135-13

Well, that was stupid – like I would have ANY energy to work out after an hour with Keith doing deep tissue. Hello! In fact, I was so out of it after we got done that Keith gave me a diet coke to wake up. Didn’t help much. Good thing the snow hadn’t started yet so I could make it home fairly safely.

I made turkey meatloaf last night (should that be turkloaf?). not bad, not good either. But at least it’s something different. Also started krumkake for the advent tea, but at 9:30 I was completely zonked so I went to bed. I’m glad I can sleep like a rock once I turn off my brain, but the turning off the brain is the hard thing. I was awoken at 1am from some ahole calling – which actually was a bit disturbing since he new my name and then asked if I was married with children – when I asked his name after this question (w/o answering it) he said it was “matchbox”. What the hell? So I hung up on him, which in hindsight I should have done from the beginning. But then it took a long time to shut down my brain again to fall asleep, and making it worse was realizing that I would have to be up in 4 hours to shovel. Ugh!

I need a nap.

day 134-12

K had a very valid point with yesterday’s post(s). I do need to do this to keep accountable, but maybe I need to do it slightly differently. Instead of just listing what I’ve eaten or not, I need to be looking at the why. Why haven’t I been eating protein? Why have I let myself slip in the mini 3 musketeer bars on occasion again, knowing they have full sugar in them? Why have I been just eating cookies and cereal? (as I did yet again today, yet I did have eggs for breakfast)

Part of it may be because I’m feeling quite stressed with money and I don’t feel I can afford the food I usually eat – lots of chicken, subway, sb meals. Healthy food seems to add up in the pocketbook faster than ‘bad’ food. But that’s not all of it because I have chicken and steak in the freezer.

Part of it could be I’m just feeling more down than I usually do this time of the year – stemming from this transition I’m still feeling with my friends all far away and I’m in this limbo stage – way more than last year. (more on this at the other blog) And when I start to feel this way, I get into comfort food mode. Apparently cookies are my comfort food – pizza would be but I can’t eat the cheap, fake, white-trash pizza anymore so the sb is the only kind for me and at $3 a pop, it seems a bit hefty.

I didn’t make it to the gym last night, opting to finish a Xmas present instead – which probably was stupid since I probably shouldn’t give it anyway. So tonight, though I need to make krumkake for the advent tea (and I won’t have time tomorrow with choir) I absolutely need to get to the gym, even if for 30 minutes to run. I did feel better last week after I had done this and I’m sorry I didn’t last night. It may help me sleep better (been restless lately) and of course I’ll feel better in the end.

Or maybe I just need to start taking vitamins.

Days 130-8, 131-9, 132-10, 133-11

I’m almost getting tired of keeping track of my sb days like this but I think it’s important to keep going too. If I stop I fear I won’t keep have any accountability and I’ll balloon back up and I can’t let that happen.

So my days have been pretty similar. I’m eating way too many cookies that I bake and not enough salad or good protein. Friday I made the carb-sense pizza again, but instead of splitting it into two pizza’s I just made one big one, which was a mistake. It didn’t roll out very well and the thick crust was too thick and hard to eat. Oh well…now I know. I did finally buy lettuce again. I just need to eat it now. I took out ground turkey for meatloaf this week. At least that I should be able to eat. :)

I’m not exercising enough either. I did make it back to the gym last Monday, but didn’t get in the rest of the week. So tonight I’m vowing to go and tomorrow night too. Maybe I can slowly build back up to 4 nights a week like I’d like. Or rather like I should. :)

day 128-6, 129-7

Tuesday was a good day. I thought I had written here but I guess that one went to the other blog. Oh well. Anyway, Tuesday was good for the most part. I’ve added Subway’s chicken/bacon/ranch wrap to my noon meals on occasion. It’s not bad, fills me up, I get a few carbs, it’s okay. Last night MLH and I went to Manny’s. A ton of food, but OH so good! There’s nothing like a perfectly done 10oz filet to finish up the night. So now I feel like an overstuffed cow (does that make me a cannibal?).

day 127-5

Went to the gym last night. I took me half an hour after I had gotten dressed to get out the door to the gym, but once I got there, the run felt really good.

Off the topic, I just have to say that every time I type the sb day and the date I feel like Jeffrey (jpm). After jpm had gotten a dui he gave up drinking and started a countdown (so to speak) of sobriety. He had, and probably still has, a board with 4 pegs and he hangs numbers on them. each day he changes the number with one more day of sobriety. The last time I saw him he was over 900 days. It was pretty cool. So everyday when I type in day 127-5 I think of jpm.

Day 123-1, 124-2, 125-3, 126-4

Wow…It’s December. It’s been 4 months. Finally I’m learning the funny things about my body:

1) I can’t eat a whole bun. I tried this Wednesday night, then to complete the experiment I tried it again on Friday and my whole stomach became a rock. I haven’t felt that icky in a long time. I had some pasta on Saturday - that was a bad move too. So some small portions of bread and maybe no pasta are okay – but not a whole bun. Good to know.

2) I have to drink my water. I’m not a big fan of plain water but I’ve found that if I only drink diet coke I don’t do so well.

3) I have to exercise. I have been feeling sluggish and crappy this whole week. Work hasn’t been that stressful, but the little things that have been pissing me off haven’t been worked out by running so the little things just keep getting bigger and bigger and they aren't important. Tonight I’m back in the gym.

4) Straight sugar does weird things to me. Friday I ate at Taco Bell. I took some small sips of the Baja Mt Dew (I was tired and wanted some caffeine, plus i sometimes miss Baja Mt Dew) and while I was eating the chulupa (yuck) my head actually started spinning for a moment. I was glad I was sitting down and had to stop and just breathe deeply (but quietly so not to freak joey out) and clear my head. Too weird.

So there’s the latest. I’m eating too many cookies and not running enough. That will change tonight. I got a work out from Keith – less intense than the one Jay sent and will begin that tonight. Should be interesting.

day 122-30

It’s almost time to leave on dec. 1 and I forgot to blog about yesterday. What a day. Crappy eats. Didn’t get to the gym. Drank during choir. Ate a bun which sat in my stomach like a rock…blech. I had to go home and sleep it off. Get that – I had to sleep off a burger bun! Man…my life has changed. It would have been the alcohol in a previous life but today it’s a bun.

day 121-29

I didn’t eat well today – SBMR for breakfast, eggs for lunch, cookies throughout the day, half of a chipotle burrito for supper. Didn’t make it to the gym either. Ugh. By the time I got out of work, home and changed clothes to go it would have taken me just as long to get there and drive back to shower before my 4pm appt with Keith. So I caught up on tv from last week, had lunch instead and made a plate of cookies to take to Keith instead. Hindsight says it’s probably good I didn’t go. The work out I have is a bit much to start out with when I haven’t lifted in ahile. I need to ease back into the lifting and just get back into the gym in general. I’ve been avoiding it way too much and not working out my stress like I should. Must RUN!

Day 120-28

Nothing exciting about the 28^th. I was supposed to have dinner at Punch, but my dinner date stood me up so I went home and had leftover turkey and made cookies instead. Didn’t make it to the gym. Jay will kill me but I’m going to take the afternoon off today and work out instead. I’m hoping by going this afternoon it’ll trigger the ability in me to keep going even though it’s snowing and cold. I miss working out but getting the desire and stamina up to go when it’s cold is hard. I need to set a goal.

Days 115-23, 116-24, 117-25, 118-26, 119-27

So, thanksgiving weekend…I could give you a whole play by play – how I ate turkey and a bite of stuffing and flatbread and la-di-da-dah. But I’m not going to. Basically, the weekend was great. I watched what I ate but didn’t really deny myself anything (though I probably should have). I didn’t weigh this morning because I want to live in the glimmer of hope that I didn’t gain back the 2 pounds I lost last week. Jay sent me our workout for the week. GUH! The man is going to kill me but at least I’ll look good when I die.

Yay Ryan!

This is just a quick post since I'm at mom's but I wanted to shout out a big ol' kudos to my sometimes perverted bro-in-law for being the only one in the family, besides mom, to comment on my success. YAY! He said out right, "You've lost weight." well, yes, thanks. "No, you've lost a lot of weight." normally i'd be offended thinking, damn what did he think I was before? a cow? but NO that was the best thing I heard all weekend. It made me happy to be wearing my smaller jeans and my baby-doll 'revenge' tee. I almost felt bad for eating the potatoes and flat bread. Oh well.

Day 114-22

Okay, I broke down last night and had a piece (and a half) of my pie. Man, I’m good – not at eating but at baking. I should go into business. That is TOO yummy. So then to torture myself more I weighed in this morning (to add up all the cookies and pie and calories I’ve been eating when I should haven’t been eating them) and I lost 2 pounds from last Wednesday. Uh, HELLO! Okay, it was whoosh week, but MAN! This is sweet! So I’m now at 1-4-6 point 8. I bought new jeans yesterday too. My current pair was just too big – well not completely but when I can pull them off (shimmying them down) without unbuckling or unzipping, it’s time to purchase a new pair. AND they were on sale 1/2 off! Then a nice massage with Keith. Apparently I’m carrying a lot of stress – my lower back and shoulders were incredibly stiff. I need to work on that. E's post on running is a good reminder to keep at it.

Tomorrow officially begins the holiday season. I need to keep focus on my goals, get back to the gym more consistently (Jay’s going to help me out again) and watch the baking. I can’t go through December without baking, and I know I’ll sample but I’ll need to make sure I sample small amounts. :) I haven’t stayed this course this long for nothing. My goal still hangs by my closet, awaiting the day I can fit into it without too much snugness.

Day 113-21

Day was okay. I’m really snacky throughout the day anymore. I don’t know why. Am I not eating enough? Am I eating the wrong things? I don’t get it. Thanksgiving is looming in the near distance. Ugh.

feeling the weight...

I can feel the pounds seeping their way back into my thighs. Partly because I haven’t been running since last Monday, and partly because I just ate 3 non-healthy cookies (i.e. not made by me). I’m so going to balloon up again! And this weekend is thanksgiving…danger, danger will robinson!

Days 111-19, 112-20

Weekend was okay but not the best. I’ve been snacky more than usual. I don’t know if it’s because I’m bored, or b/c I refused to bake this weekend (actually I would have yesterday but something came up instead) or if I’m just actually that hungry. It’s probably that I’m not eating enough at my actual meals – not good. Not sure what to do or how to fix this.

day 110-18

Nothing really to report for friday. had my SB MR bar for breakfast, salad for lunch, I ate all my ‘snacks’ early in the day so I left work early to go home and nap it off. :) had SB pizza for supper and snacked a bit more. I did hold off from baking again. I’m getting better with not baking everytime I get hungry or bored – in fact I got a lot more done on my blanket I’m knitting (good thing too, I need to get it done so I can start on another). But today I must make my pie. Or at least clean up the kitchen so I can make the pie. Thinking of having a friend over for dinner next week so I need to clean and figure out a menu – nothing too over the top, nothing too garlicy or spicy, nothing too hard – simple but good. Maybe with pie for dessert. :)

day 109-17

Though I was VERY tempted, I did not bake last night. However, I have big plans for this weekend. :) yesterday was good. Went to chipotle for lunch with my lunch date, a friend I haven’t hung out with since June-ish. It was nice to catch up but it made me wonder what we really had to talk about all those times we would go out for lunch almost every day. Oh well. It was still fun. And the Chipotle was good, of course. I’ve been a bit more lax with my eating lately – I’m realizing that I’m not watching the sugar content as much as I was – that could be bad in the future. I’ll have to start keeping an eye on it.

day 108-16

Yesterday was good. I finally got back on track with bringing my salad with chicken again. that was really good for lunch. Of course I didn’t get up in time to make my eggs so had an SB RB instead. Still good. Have been craving cookies lately though – very strange. Not sure if it’s because I’m baking them or just needing them. weird. Back to drinking lots of CL peach tea too. Water rules! Went to Boom with Mark and gang for Mark’s b-day. Tim had ordered a bunch of fries and breaded/fried chicken wings and stuff – I had one small fry and it tasted icky. YAY! It’s always a good feeling.

Day 107-15

My rings are getting really loose. They’re still staying on but they’re getting loose. It’s great. I weighed again this morning, just for kicks, plus it’s the middle of the month and I’m down to 148.4. yay! Another pound down! And that’s even with all the cookies I’ve been making and eating. How insane.

Day 106-14

I ran last night again – first time in a week…so not good. My back didn’t hurt which was good, but I did get winded. I need to look into that breath enhancer my pseudo-boyfriend told me about in August. That may help. It was good to run though. I forget how great I feel afterward when I don’t do it often enough. So the plan is to go again tonight as long as we aren’t snowed in too much and the wind isn’t too icky.

Days 104-12, 105-13

Weekend was okay for food. Didn’t exercise at all – back still hurting from doing whatever it was when I bent over to pick up the shampoo Friday AM. I wore a Therma-care heating pad thing all day, but I’m not sure it really helped. It’s not as painful today but still sore. Good thing I see Keith tomorrow. Of course then I tripped and fell down the stairs yesterday after coming home from lunch with Debbie – must have been caused by the sugar rush from the part of the dessert I had. Ugh.

I’ve been in the mood to bake lately – not sure if it’s the weather or depression or what, but I’ve been baking a lot more lately. I’m planning to make more cookies tonight – the ones with the kisses. Debbie wants a set and the rest I’m going to take for Wednesday for Mark’s b-day. Last night the A’s and I made the mini-carb parmesan pizza crust. It actually turned out really well…I was happy. It was fun making supper with them. I realized about mid-way how much I really love hanging out with them – not that I didn’t know that before, but it really sunk in last night. Plus, O’Ryan loves me, so that’s always a bonus.

I’ve been inspired by SAJ and I want to attempt the apple pie again. The insides of the last one I did were awesome but I need to work on the crust. Maybe this weekend I can do that – something to look forward to…AND i need to make that turkey I have left in my freezer from last year...it's just that 11pounds is a LOT of turkey for one girl like me. Maybe I can have some friends over or something. I may want to start planning....hmmmm

day 103-11

My holiday (V.Day) so I made cookies, again. well actually, it was all part of a master plan to have a stiff drink, eat cookies and watch Charlie and the Chocolate Factory with the girls. The cookies turned out really well this time – puffy and chewy and YUUUUMMMMYYY. I didn’t eat too many which was good. In fact I rationed them out for the girls and me – wrapping up a tray of 3 dozen for choir Wednesday.

Both A’s commented on how skinny I’m (apparently) getting. It’s nice to hear since my mom has been the only one saying anything in the family – (well she’s the only one I’ve really seen too and of course I haven’t seen Kev lately and I’m sure he’ll notice). I’ll have to make a point to buy some new jeans before Thanksgiving so maybe the family will notice – oh and definitely wear either my new fussy shirt or revenge shirt since they hug my curves better. :) this sounds slightly sick and wrong considering I’m going HOME. Oh well… as long as I feel good about me, that’s all that matters. Just no hugs for Ryan.

A2 wondered what’s been working for me. As I was explaining my routine, I really came to an understanding (I always knew it, but to put it into words was incredible) that the stress involved in trying to figure out what I’m going to eat has always been a downfall. I suck at restaurants – especially newer ones – trying to find something I will like, sans mushrooms, something that will be good for me (in accordance to SB), and something somewhat inexpensive all which must appeal to my entirely picky and poor nature. Like I said, I’m such a Sally. Having my set meals during the day is SO much better for me – when I have to try to figure out what I’m going to eat for lunch, I just get frustrated. I think this is what has really helped me out with this program – I know what I can eat. I also know that if I go off of it a bit, I won’t gain 15 pounds in a day, and when I need to restart I know exactly how to do it. Plus I don’t care if I eat the same thing everyday – I am SO Morris. Just get me through the next couple hours…who cares what it is. It’s great.

day 102-10

Okay, so today wasn’t the best. No consistency with eating, not that I ate poorly, just wasn’t consistent like it should have been. Today I’m struggling a bit because I didn’t work out last night and I should have and I pulled something in my lower right back this morning. I’m okay to sit but standing or stretching hurts. I’m going to heating pad it tonight and hopefully it will get better.

day 101-9

So much for celebrating. But it’s okay, I would have felt like crap today had I celebrated like I thought to, though I did have quite a few of my cookies – well 4. Good thing they’re small. Went to Keith instead and am really starting to feel so much better overall. I know there is a lot more work I need to do but I’m getting there. Wearing my lt. purple shirt today – and happy to report it’s almost too big. For once it’s not pulling in the chest area. Which leads to another subject…maybe it’s time to get some new bras too. It’s so fun to lose weight, but so expensive to clothe yourself once you do. :) Ah the price of thinness.

day 100-8

I DID IT! I made it through 100 days! WOOHOO! I tried to figure out a way to celebrate last night and all my ideas went right out the window. I ended up watching my shows from last week I missed and made half a batch of my PB cookies with dark chocolate. Mmmm. So today (the 9^th) I may be celebrating more so. I am getting a massage at Keith’s, which will be good, but I’m thinking along the lines of Major’s and tortilla chips and cheesy dip. We’ll see. :)

Anyway, I just wanted to thank all my SME’s and friends for their support these past 100 days. I don’t know that I would have made it here without. When I drink tonight, I will toast you all!

day 99-7

Wow! Yesterday, ie Monday, was 99 days. I celebrated by going to bally’s and running my ass off, not literally unfortunately – or maybe fortunately since my pants would fall down otherwise. 315 calories burned, 2.65 miles ran…I think I walked once for a minute but otherwise running at 5.5 for most of it (6.0 for 3 minutes – I got winded to quickly – not good). It felt good. I felt alive. I felt invigorated. It was great. Smiley for me!

days 96-4, 97-5, 98-6

Man, I’m nearing 100 days of sb…I may have to celebrate Tuesday night. Or do I wait until after Tuesday and celebrate on Wednesday?…maybe that’d be better. Then I can go out with Debbie after choir and have some of Major’s fine eatin’.

This weekend was okay. The red vines won out again, which is always detrimental to sara. Oh well. Considering I still ate out I don’t think I did too bad. It’s odd to think this is becoming a lifestyle. I’m a total Sally when I order but it’s so much better for me – no bread, sauce on the side, no fries, salad please, dressing on the side, no dessert thanks.

Mom is starting SB today…GO MOM! I think she’s going to do well with it. Stay strong!

day 95-3

I’m writing now because I’m gone til Monday now and it’s late enough I can enter what I’ve eaten for the day. Ugh. MRB for breakfast, arby’s for lunch – roast beef only and a little turkey from cah’s sandwich. But then…oh then…cah and I went to on site research at UofM and had some delectable goodies from the university catering and dining company who catered the event. Just call me Janice: “OH…MY….GOD”. They were so yummy. Bad thing – I got a sugar fix going and now I’m slammed with the drop in levels and am getting tired. Not good since I have to work another 2.5 hours and then drive 4. you’d think I’d learn.

day 94-2

Good day overall, though I hadn’t made my eggs for breakfast so I had a meal replacement bar. Then off to Wendy’s for lunch – that was fine until I got ambitious and entered my meal on their nutritional “build a meal” weblink…WAY too many calories, but I chocked it up to it was my noon meal and I needed some major sustenance to get me through the afternoon, and in reality with all the crap I pulled off of what I ordered it wasn’t as bad as it could have been. But still! Oh well… it’s just a good reminder that I need to be preparing meals the night before so I’m not scrambling come noon and ending up with a bunch of evil crap.

days 92-31; 93-1

YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY!

Can I just say, “Yay!”?

Weighed in yesterday morning, seeing as it was the 1^st o’ the month and it had been 3 months since I began this little sb venture and I finally broke my plateau weight! To see that 1 and 4 and 9 was just tooooooo sweet, especially since even when I was working my ass off 6 days a week with jrg 2 years ago I never broke 150. YAY! That’s even with all the cookies I ate on Sunday!

This is such a good feeling. Just 15 more to go…although I’m really starting to think even 5 to 10 more would be a good thing.

OH and I tried on my goal this morning…still a little snug in the ass but everywhere else it’s fitting well. YAY! just enough to keep me going! :)

Days 89-28, 90-29, 91-30

The weekend went well, I think, as far as food goes. Friday I was supposed to go out with the girls so I didn’t go to the gym. In hindsight, I could have gone when our plans failed unexpectedly, but I didn’t. Saturday the girls helped me rake the lawn. UGH! Food was okay, especially considering it is Halloween weekend. I made a Mini-Carb apple pie yesterday. The crust was AWFUL! But the innards were yummy. Then I made leaded chocolate-chip cookies. They were very yummy. I only had one but I did eat some dough. But it was good as I made up all my food for today so all I had to do was pack it this morning. YAY me getting back into sync of things.

official start here

I have now copied all my SB entries from my other blog to here. I think this will make some people happy who don’t want to read all about my crap with food. This will help me too. So comments and support are welcome! Or don’t read it at all – it’s really just a guideline and way to track things for myself.

day 88-27

Uffda. I’m so not where I used to be. Recovery time is slower than I remember. Running is difficult after lifting – especially doing flyes. The tension and stiffness in the chest makes it hard to breathe. So alas, I jogged for about 10 minutes last night before flailing my arms up in defeat (they didn’t go very high – it was more of a wrist fling in the end) and called it a night. crashed at 9 and slept til 6am. ahhhhhh

day 87-26

YAY! another smiley for me. Having the afternoon off is beneficial for me. I went to Bally’s and actually lifted some today. It was great but made me realize just how out of shape I am. Kudos to me for drinking Crystal Lite all day – it’s an indulgence really since it tastes like Kool-aid but Keith said it was cool since I’m getting my water intake then. Considering I go through two nalgene’s during the day and then more when I get home, I’m doing pretty well. I should be drinking more, but at least I’ve cut back on the DC/splenda mix. Plan to run tonight. I’m liking this gym thing. And Jay said he’d help me again with workouts if I need. I have old ones but those were written after 2 hard core months working out with him. I tried one yesterday and though it wasn’t bad I shouldn’t be this sore – especially having had a massage 2 hours after. Something to work on, I guess. But then I always have something to work on.

Day 85-24, 86-25

Monday was a good day, in accordance to food, until I got home and popped in my standard SB pizza (this is becoming almost automatic when I walk in – not a good sign) and realized that I have chicken thawing that I should be baking instead! So did I bake it on Tuesday? Nooooooooo. I had a meal replacement bar instead. BUT, BUT I did make it to Bally’s Tuesday night – ran for 1.5 miles steady, increasing speed every few minutes or so, then dropped down and jogged a bit, then increased my incline and jogged on that (6.0 inc at 4.5) for a few minutes, then dropped my incline down to 0 and ran at 6.5 for 3 minutes, then walked it all off. I need to work on slowing my heartrate so I kept my hands on the sensors as I did my cool down to see if I could slow it down even while walking. It worked but not the best. Something to work on I guess.

Days 81-20, 82-21, 83-22, 84-23

I was going to start this with, “The weekend went fairly well” but then I realized that this is including even last Thursday. I’m such a blogging loser. Oh well. The weekend (and Thursday) went fairly well. :) I eat my South Beach stuff, which is good, but I’ve been skipping my usual breakfast in lieu of the replacement bars. I need to get back to the eggs. They’re so yummy and probably better for me. This week, seriously I’m going to work on this. Smilies this weekend for walking everywhere! for all these events and for dancing Saturday night. Sweating counts for exercise, right? :)

day 80-19

80 days. ‘Round the world in 80 days. I feel ‘round the world. Actually not too bad. I think I am a bit skinnier but it’s so hard to tell. I’ve been stagnant with exercising and losing. Not good. Must. Go. To. Bally’s. To. Night.

day 79-18

Not bad today. breakfast/meal-replacement bar for breakfast (obviously), subway wrap for lunch, sb pizza for supper – lots of dc with splenda though. Otherwise not bad for food. Oh wait, I had a tiny smoothie in the afternoon. That was okay but not probably the best option. Didn’t make it to bally’s last night. I’m so pathetic. I opted to catch up on tv instead and do my laundry – so Numb3rs, Desperate Housewives and Grey’s Anatomy and 2 loads of laundry and early to bed instead of running my ever-growing ass off.

days 75-14, 76-15, 77-16, 78-17

Let's just say, i enjoyed the food I ate and I will relish this weekend for a long time. for the sake of my thighs, i cannot visit e&k like that again for a little while. but ooooohhhhhh it was good.

day 74-13

okay day – it’s funny. I went out to lunch today with cah today and I’m finding that I don’t even want the bun when I order a burger – it just seems wrong. No smiley for me today – though I should have since the fish fry is on for Friday – but it’s okay. I worked late and then had to pack and clean before leaving for the weekend. I have bally’s booked in my calendar for next week so there can be no excuse anymore. (unless I get a hot date or something – HAHA! – I crack myself up!)

day 73-12

Good day, other than the ice cream which tasted SO good, though I did feel like crap most of the day – not just from the ice cream. Had a chair massage at 11am (keith says I have too much tension – must go see him), took a nap when I got home, went to choir and crashed early. I finally slept through the night for once! YAY! and I’m looking hot today. I have my santa shirt on and my skinny gray pants. Damn, am I one hot woman. HA!

day 72-11

No smiley for me today. I avoided Bally’s so I could watch Tombstone instead. More on that in another blog. Realized today that I haven’t been eating my celery and other veggies. Not good. I did buy strawberries which have been very yummy.

day 71-10

Went to Bally’s last night for the first official time. Not bad. Smiley for my calendar! YAY! I went around 1930 so there weren’t a lot of people, nor were there many cute ones. It was fine because I just read Word & World* while I ran. I did okay…300 calories burned, ran/walked for 40 minutes. I could do more but I just need to get into it for now. The “later at night” worked okay, I was worried it wouldn’t, but I think it’ll be fine. I still had trouble falling asleep, but then again, I’ve been having that problem for a month. And I woke up at 0430 this morning and tossed and turned for 2 hours. And now I’m yawning…so that will be a drawback but maybe I can figure something out to alleviate that problem.

*free subscription for a year since I graduated and easy to carry and place on the treadmill. Reading the Lord’s Prayer one from 2002.

Comments:
k said...

bizarre, i'm always completely exhausted after working out and can go to sleep immediately.

good for you! can't wait to see you soon!

Days 65-4, 66-5, 67-6, 68-7, 69-8, 70-9

Last week was insane…red vines, sb cookies, barely any salad…not good, enough said. I did join Bally’s on Thursday. That’s a start I guess. Now I just need to go. Of course they are trying to push for a personal trainer, which I can’t afford. They’ll just have to realize I’m not a complete idiot when it comes to working out. :)

comments:
I totally understand the "food horror story"...my week had a terrible twix and *ugly confession* snickers attack..ug. Hope the gym turns out to be a good investment.
Chiao.
Karen

Day 64-3

Perception is an interesting thing. My perception is changing. 2 weeks ago I thought I was looking skinny and getting smaller. Yesterday I realized that I now look at myself again as heavy and flabby. My perception has changed since I have slimmed down some. Of course, I’m still not where I want to be, which could be part of the issue, but I think your mind shifts with how you start to feel and since I have always been the fat girl, I will always see myself as the fat girl, no matter if I whittle myself down to a stick (which isn’t my plan – just a small tree limb – one that only squirrels can climb on).

Comments:
k said...

i know the feeling...perception is everything, especially when you get accustomed to getting smaller. i fight that even now, feeling like i should be losing more weight, even if i'm the same as i was last fall. it's tricky, but try to stay positive and to think about other aspects of yourself besides your physical appearance. that helps.

days 61-30, 62-1, 63-2

The weekend went well for sb for the most part. I successfully avoided numerous bags of sf red vines, but did have a bag of pistachios throughout the weekend. Tried the fast food game on Saturday – went to subway and had the atkins wrap. Not bad. It was something different for a change. Successfully avoided pie and dessert after the ordination, but mostly that was because I had to leave anyway. I did stock up on sb meals though – hyvee was having a big sale so I stocked up and brought them back up here. I missed supper last night but I was so tired I barely noticed.

day 60-29

Two months. Wow. Two full months of being on SB and 12 pounds down. Not bad really. I’m a few shy of the 2 pounds a week I was hoping, but still happy with the results. The elca sent out their healthy newsletter or whatever recently and it said to help keep motivated a person should take 5 to list 5…I’m paraphrasing in a big way because I can’t quite remember the details but this makes sense to me…list 5 reasons why you need to stay motivated as well as what is going well, so here are mine:

· I feel better than I have in years. I don’t feel (as) fat and uncomfortable being around myself.

· When I catch a glance of me in the mirror or a window I don’t cringe and look away.

· I’m closer to my goal.

· I haven’t checked but 10 to 1 my cholesterol has gone down.

· Clothes are more fun to shop for and purchase when they are smaller. :)

day 59-28

Doing well today. I haven’t had these since Monday AM and though I would love one (or two or seven), I’m holding off…well at least until later when I can get to Rainbow to get more. :)

day 58-27

Weighed this morning, just to see. Down another pound finally! I’m off the plateau, and God-willing I’ll keep off that pound and keep going lower. I’m at a weight I haven’t been in 2 years, yet I’m still at least 3 pounds away from breaking the weight I’ve never been able to drop below since college. Ugh.

comments:

Justin n said...

keep up the good work. P and I just started WW again this week. Granted it has only been three days, but things are going good and we are both excited to be dieting again. It makes me feel so much better about everything, when I am not engorging myself on anything and everything. Internship has not been kind to the belly!!

3:03 PM

k said...

yay, yay, yay, yay!

day 57-26

Good day today…had my eggs, had my salad/chicken, ate out at Pizza Lucé for the first time with a1 and a2 (had ½ of a chicken Dijon hoagie on whole wheat…yummy!) and also got an email from Jim at sbonline…he’s my new diet coach. I had written to Shawn, but Shawn no longer works there so Jim is taking on my file. He gave me some good pointers - like going ALL…THE…WAY to phase 2 instead of the phase 1.5. Apparently phase 2 is the phase designed for the most weight loss…I didn’t know that. very interesting. I still hesitate because I don’t want to backslide and be eating bread non-stop like I have in the past. I had the half sandwich last night and it was very good, and I’m glad to know that I have been doing well these last 57 days at saying no most times to bread. It’s a good start for me at least. I need to get back running…it’s been a couple weeks which isn’t good (no smilies!) but timing hasn’t worked out the best. It’s best for me, psychologically, to go home, have a light supper, then run, but when you’re not getting home until after 7pm and it’s almost dark out this doesn’t work…not in our neighborhood (see here for more details if you haven’t read them already). So I either need to suck it up and join Bally’s or something comparable OR I need to start hauling my ass to SH and working out in the gym there. The latter requires me to bring yet another bag to work with me each day – clothes to change into of course. I may have to turn Morty’s boot into a closet at this rate, with a little portable fridge for my lunch.

comments:
erik g said... morty's boot? I think that is cute....

keep at it. I went to the Y for the first time today. it is amazing!!!

days 54-23, 55-24, 56-25

I may have an addiction.
It’s a bad thing, but I’m going to try really hard not to let it overcome me this week as it has the past week.
They’re just so good…but, well…you know. Okay, be strong, moe...you can do it.

I finally got lettuce last night (I had been out for 3 days – SO not good) and I’m actually looking forward to my salad today. The weekend eating was rough – I need to figure out how to eat better during events. I tried eating a big salad (from Chipotle – mmmm) yesterday before the president’s tea…and it worked pretty well for the first 4 hours…but those last few hours just didn’t. Something to work on, I guess.

day 53-22

I think I’m becoming addicted to these. Not a good thing. Eh, whadda ya do.

Today wasn’t the best. I got up late so I didn’t get my eggs made so I had to buy an omelet at work. It was okay, but not the best. I’m not a fan of egg beaters, but they seem to get confused when I ask for egg whites only so for simplicity I just use the ‘beaters’. Lunch was non-existant as I had forgotten it, plus I had the afternoon off. Broke down and had a sb pizza last night. I’m so wrong.

I’ve been stressed lately – not as bad as last week but still stressed. It’s there this week too, just more subtle. Not sure what to do with this. My schedule is suddenly busier than snot again…I wasn’t quite ready for that – usually it eases in. this time is just ‘slam-bam-thank you ma’am’…and not in the good way. Maybe I’ll settle into a groove soon. I hope soon.

day 52-21

I have no consistency. One day I’m great, the next horrible. Ugh! I’m so frustrated with myself. Why can’t life just be normal? Just lamenting here…nevermind.

day 51-20

Yesterday was MUCHO better. I had a beach burger yesterday at green mill…highly recommend except don’t eat the cheese – that wasn’t good. Oh well. I grilled up some E-steak and chicken tonight. that will help my eating situation during the week more. I’ve been out of chicken for my salad since last Friday. Today I finally have some again! YAY!

Note to K – thank you for talking with me about all this SB stuff again. I’m sorry to constantly pick your brain about this and whine and complain. Things aren’t going too bad…12 pounds in 7 weeks really isn’t that bad – I mean this is almost 2 pounds a week. And like I said, the gaining last week with PMS wasn’t as bad as it was the first time. Hopefully this whoosh week will be better. And I know with running and building muscle I’m slowing the ‘loss’ effect for a little bit. It’s all good. You’re so great. :)

day 50-19

Wow - 50 days already? and only 11 pounds down and at least 19 to go. To answer you, K - No…last week was just another bad PMS week. did you have that problem too – where everything seems to just tick you off more and more during those weeks? This week is better, but then again it’s only Tuesday AM. HAHA! Okay…well, I said, no but more so I just felt like I didn’t have a lot time last week. I added up my hours and I had worked 57 Monday-Saturday. A lot of later nights at work, getting home and just feeling so exhausted (physically and mentally) I could barely move. It was just a looooong week. I finally did dishes last night after about a week an a half…so not good. Last night wasn’t much better – I got home after 7 and was just wiped out…I did dishes out of sheer necessity, had some pistachios (oh so healthy) and crashed. My energy is just sapped, and I know it’s because I’m not eating well and I haven’t been running. I just suck. OH and did you know chipotle actually has a salad now? I saw an ad for it when mom and I were there after Labor Day. I haven’t been there since but I need to go back.

day 48-17, 49-18

Hey k, do you remember that first sb weekend I had before I officially started? How I ate sf chocolate and cheese all weekend? Yeah, that was this weekend again, with one sb pizza thrown in for comfort food. Ugh. Craziness. Trying to be better today. I can’t keep this up…it’s killing me.

comments:
K said...

sorry you've gotten so frustrated...what can i do? is it that you've run out of ideas and recipes? or you're just sick of the whole thing? i have found that i really like to go to chipotle and make my own salad there (no beans, add the guac) as it makes it feel like i'm splurging even if i'm not.

day 47-16

thanks e, now I feel totally guilty for breaking down and having some fries at lunch. :) This has been a sucky week and comfort food is screaming at me. So I’m off after a wedding rehearsal at 6 to get another sb pizza…the last for awhile. this weekend will be my last with ‘some carbs’ as I HAVE to go back to just phase one next week. it’ll be whoosh week too so hopefully that’ll help. And hopefully life will slow down even a hair so my head won’t spin as much as it did this week.

45-14, 46-15

These last two days have been awful. Last night Debbie and I went to Major’s and I was totally awful and had tortilla chips with the pepperjack spinach dip we get. yum but so naughty. Today has been okay but with all these meetings and running around trying to get caught up I’m lucky if I get lunch, let alone my required snacks between meals. It’s not helping me at all. Hopefully tomorrow will be better. Now I’m off to home for leftover chicken…blech…or maybe that last sb pizza. hmmm

comments:
e said... tortilla chips are soooo good. but totally not on the diet.

hope you are having a good day. keep working on the diet and running(i am very proud of you for that).

i myself must go home now and run

day 44-13

After feeling like crap all afternoon, I went home, took a short nap and then woke up famished. So I tried one of the kraft sb pizza’s. mmmmm that was good. I hadn’t had pizza since july 23 so it was even better than good. I found myself watching papa john’s commercials wondering if they have a whole wheat crust or if they would ever make one. I miss ordering pizza – the decision, the making the call, the anticipation and finally! Ding-dong and there it is…hot, fresh, steamy and juicy. Mmmm oh well. A small price to pay for being skinny, which I’m not yet and maybe never will be.

day 43-12

Those numbers keep going up but weight won’t go down. Maybe once things resettle into normalcy I can get back on track again. I didn’t run last night, need to tonight. less than 5 months to the 10K. gotta get started.

Days 40-9, 41-10, 42-11

Nevermind. We couldn’t run because it was too windy. Ugh. What a world…not that I’m complaining…it was windier than snot but man. So I had to do the stupid step test again. It’s so inaccurate. For those who don’t know, the step test is a 3-minute 1-foot step up to a cadence (up – up – down - down) then your buddy checks your pulse, counting for 1 full minute within 3-seconds of completing the test. This is tricky especially if you can’t find pulses well. So I did my test and my buddy counted for the minute and came up with 79. HA! That’s SO unlikely, especially when 3 weeks ago I counted 137 and Kristi counted 122. But, at least it’s not just me since I counted Tammy at 67. blech. So we went with 110 for her and 114 for me. We figured that was fairly fair since neither of us is truly trained in checking pulses. So whatever. In 6 months I get to do it all again but I’m hoping I can talk them into letting me run instead – especially since by then I should have a 10K under my belt!

day 39-8

I hate having meetings in the afternoons. It throws my eating all off. Oh well. Ran last night, later than normal so I was nervous in itself running through a very wooded park with little lighting at dusk. It’s not that I live in a bad neighborhood, it’s just that I’m just blocks south of ghetto country and I worry. Oh well. I survived and it was fine.

I am putting out a plea for prayers for tomorrow (Saturday) AM. I have to run an almost 3K (that sounds better than 1.5 miles) and I’m so not a morning runner. I’ve been running the past three weeks and getting better but I’m really worried about tomorrow. I don’t like asking for prayers for something so trivial, but I think I could use all the help I can get.

day 38-7

I think I need to go back to phase 1 completely next week. I’ve been holding steady at my current weight for a couple weeks now…not up but not down either. Maybe a few more weeks on phase 1 would be good.

E you rock! You are a god of the grill, so to speak! I used your tips the other night and omigoodness the succulence of the steak was almost divine! Well, not quite as good as yours, nothing could be as good as yours, but wow! I never knew I could do that! yummmmmmmmmmmmmmmm Thank you for sharing your trade secrets!

day 37-6

Took mom to chipotle yesterday. That was yummy. I was bad though and had a little bit of rice and one chip. But it was still yummy. Oh well. Ran last night but the humidity just kicks my ass. I hope it’s not like this Saturday AM. 3 friggin’ days til I have to run for time. Not going well. I just need to pray harder, right? ‘cause prayer solves everything. Mmm hmm…that and running my ass off.

days 35-4, 36-5

Interesting weekend. Sunday I worked so I sort of ate okay. Monday I didn’t work, which was nice, but then I was just home all day doing nothing and ate horribly. I attempted to make some cookies last night (for mom’s snack bag for her trip home today): my carb control PB cookies with splenda, very little sugar (but some), brown sugar and whole wheat flour. Yeah…they didn’t taste the best – well they just didn’t taste like normal cookies. The flour is weird. Oh well…I didn’t make many so I wasn’t out much. I just shouldn’t have eaten the ones I did. I felt like crap afterward…that’ll teach me. Ha!

I did try some of the Kraft SB meals this weekend…they have refrigerated wraps – the chicken one was pretty good, the turkey one wasn’t too bad. I bought their pizza last night but not going to have it until Sunday after guards. I realized when I bought it that I haven’t had pizza since July 23. how insane is that! this from a girl who used to eat it at least once a week, sometimes more. Look at me…I’m growing.

days 33-2, 34-3

Friday was awful…well, after FINALLY eating lunch around 2:30 after the guy left, I worked til 6:40, then karen s and I went to the wallace’s for the open house. We didn’t stay long but it dredged up some memories again. Oh well. Went home and wasn’t really hungry so I had some soy tortilla chips which are good, but thank goodness have an aftertaste so I don’t overeat them. I should have gone running but I was just exhausted so instead I took a long bath and went to bed at 9:30.

Today’s food isn’t going well either. I did have breakfast but I missed lunch. I’m just not hungry on the weekends. Odd. Talked with my former trainer…he’s now a vegan – well at least at home, but when he’s out and about (like this weekend) then he plays vegetarian. He hasn’t had meat intentionally since July 1. Seems odd, but he’s looking good. We’re both getting little! I'm intending to run tonight after the wedding and running a couple errands. i should have run this morning but I completely slept in! wow! 10 hours of incredible sleep. I feel great today.

Oh and I making plans to run a 10K in Feb in Florida with Mikey and Schlenker. Let’s just see if I actually follow through on that one. :)

comments:
E said...

10K, that is pretty ambitious. GO FOR IT!!!

day 32-1, short note to add

I tried running last night…but it was pretty pathetic. I was so tired. The aftermath of driving to SD and back, especially the slow drive of actually going the speed limit since mom was following me, and then working before and after…just all wore me out. So I ran once around, walked another, went home and did some crunches. A small smiley day since I did do something but not really great. I’m still tired today but have every goal to run tonight.

days 31, 32-1

My one YAY for the day yesterday (day 31) was I avoided cake at the reception and the soup supper before. Not ready for soup yet, but the salad I got from arby’s was awful. What makes me sad is I used to love that place…I should, having worked there 8 years, but man they have really gotten icky. I’m so not impressed…but maybe that’s just because I’m not impressed in general with fast food anymore. Today’s lunch at McDonald’s made me want to barf but I had no alternative at the time so alas I choked it down. It’s a good thing that I don’t like these places anymore (not that I ever did like McD’s – kangaroo meat and all (thanks, Chip!)) because otherwise I would have problems.

Oh and hey! I've made it a whole month! WOW!

I know some of you are wondering about the 32-1: I’m going to continue to count the days as a total first (because I just need to know!) but I need to use the date as well so I can keep track of where I am in the month…that’s all. It’ll get confusing for some but not for me. HA!

Running tonight. I haven’t talked to A1 if she’s up for it again…will have to do that when I get home.

day 30

Woohoo! Another kickass night of running. A1 and I went out earlier so it was hotter so I sweated more. Yay. we did the stairs again though we were both hurting and tired from the night before. Ran for 20 minutes but slower than last night. Oh well. E had mentioned his dad talked him into a 5K in Austin – that’s so awesome and I’m so impressed. I haven’t done a marathon yet. I’m thinking I should find one to run, but right now I need to focus on my 1.5 mile in 11 days.

I’m not sure I’m eating well. That is an issue. Oh well…I weighed today and I gained 4/10 from Saturday…I could be gaining muscle but I’m not sure. Oh well…I’m still lighter now than I have been in 2 years. That makes me glad.

comments:
A one said...

hey...i think we did pretty damn good, all things considered. We're kicking ass and taking names, man.

And do I have to say this again? Step away fromt the scale...ONLY once a week.

Okay, off to save the children :)

day 29

Woohoo! I get a bigass smiley today for I not only mowed my damn lawn, but I also went running, and not only did I go running but A1 ran with me and we did the stairs and we ran the entire way around the entire park which is over a mile, but I think under 1.5 miles – still okay because, dammit, we ran the stairs! Cool. A2 walked behind us and directed us where to go so we would get the most for our workout. We need to get her a whistle though just in case. Like a1 and I were saying, we felt safe running at night, in the almost dark, because we were together, but a2 off by herself made us nervous.

comments:

Joggers R Us (Upstairs version) said...

(cue Rockey music here)

WE KICK ASS!!! Again, I'm not saying....I'm just saying. Way to go Mowerpants McJoggerson (can you tell I've been watching too much Will and Grace?). You are a rock star. And a jogger. And heck, you even mow a good lawn now and then.

Can't wait for our sequel tonight.

10:56 AM

erik g said...

good job runners...keep it up.

on the running front, my dad conned me into doing a 5K this past weekend in Austin, it started at 5pm and was about 103 at the start. we were celebrating "Keep Austin Weird" weekend, and we were certainly weird.

days 26-28

Another weekend down full of crap. Well, not completely. I think I had salad last night and I seem to recall some celery in there somewhere. Otherwise I had some eggs, popsicles, and some sugar free candy – probably too much of the latter two. Oh well. Saturday I was walking around the apartment while I was cleaning and realized I just am not hungry on the weekends. No, hunger isn’t the issue – I’m just ‘snacky’. Even if I sit down and actually have a meal, I’m still snacky when I’m home. It sucks. One person I know calls it grazing…I used to graze but that was more when I’d pop a bag of popcorn or have a bag of chips open and eat one every time I walked by the table – so of course I would make an excuse to walk to and from the kitchen any second I could. But now I just snack…it’s so bad. I’m beginning to hate weekends. I need the consistency of a job – but Lord knows I can’t work 7 days a week. sheesh.

comments:
A One (word to your mother) said...

Okay...so you don't need a job on the weekend....just a fun, exciting social life :) Ok, ok, I'm not trying to poke fun....but I do know that when I am home and not doing anything I will 1)watch TV and that goes along with 2) snack. So....get out of the basement (or "Sarah's little cupboard under the stairs" as I like to call it) and HAVE SOME FUN. You can call your incredibly fun and good looking neighbors upstairs or any of your other friends and go play. OR, another good idea is to do something with your hands (esp if you're watching TV) so that you aren't focused on food/eating. May I suggest Paint By Number. I am currently a black belt in this specialty. Okay, peace out.

day 25

I just realized that I passed the whole “21 days makes a habit” mark a few days ago. Pretty cool…so how did I celebrate last night? By having two 1 inch long, 1/8 of an inch thick French fries and they didn’t taste good. YAY! carolann and I met Kevin at figlio’s after our pedi’s and his haircut. Had a drink (I’m becoming a lightweight not having k&e to drink with more frequently and lord knows, I can’t drink at home because that’s SO not a good sign to drink alone), had 2 mini burgers (which really weren’t mini – I shudder to think of what their regular burger size would be) without the bun, of course, ...actually just ate the meat (probably good since I was needing some red meat) and the 2 fries. Yes 2! I was happy to note that the fries weren’t that good (actually they were delicious but I’m telling myself they were gross) but they were the perfect size. I at one point handed them to carolann so she could have them by her because, it wasn’t that I was hungry for them, but they were in front of me and I’ve learned that if I’ve eaten I just need to move what I’m not going to eat to the other side of the table or put it away – out of reach so I’m not tempted to ‘eat because it’s there’.

I have been impressed with me that I can just turn away at bread and pasta and stuff. I don’t crave it really anymore. I’m still loving chocolate, I don’t think I could give that up so thank God for the sugar free stuff. That’s been the surprising thing on this lifestyle change (not a diet…can’t call it a diet)…though I ‘can’t’ eat the things I normally used to I’m still finding things I like to eat with ease. It’s great. I’m learning to enjoy salad again. I’m learning to appreciate string cheese and veggies. Celery and PB are my friends again – and I’m not really getting bored (though I know I’ve said that a lot lately). It’s really not that bad. I think when I can go back to more carbs and I use my carbsense stuff instead, I’ll still feel better overall. I’m starting to get energy back now that my body has adjusted to the eating plan so jogging at night isn’t as bad as it would have been 2 weeks ago. Interesting. It’s kind of humbling but exciting all at the same time.

It’s funny to note that a week ago I was referring to myself as a 6 or 7 year old getting humored by my parents for wanting this unattainable goal. There have been moments this week, like when I was looking at my goal (k – you know the one) hanging by my closet this morning even, where I’m thinking I’ll never be small to fit into that. But it’s time to get over that. Not that I won’t still have those thoughts, because hell that’s just human nature in this day of age, but I just have to keep reminding me that it has been 25 days only. I have a while to go. It’s that whole instant gratification people want today which sucks. Just have to suck it up and actually work for something for once.

comments:
Dieting (funny) lesbian upstairs said...

Where to start with this one?

1) Way to go on the fries. Fries are great. I miss them. But being not overweight is better than eating french fries. Anyday.

2) Don't drink alone. Always knock on your neighbors door upstairs.

3) Lifestyle change. I like it. I'm stealing it.

4)"Enjoy salad again"? Yeah, right. And do those sugar free chocolates give you the runs? Me too.

5)25 days is great. Way to go for 25 days.

6) 9 months. (is better!) No, I'm just kidding, but really, I have to say that I am finally happy with the size that I am and the way my body feels and looks and clothes fit and the whole bit...and it has taken me nine months. And it will probably still be another two before I am EXACTLY where I want to be.

7) Fad diets are for sissies. REAL women (and okay, men too) lose weight by changing their lifestyles and becoming healthy and whole. You are a rock star.

day 24

Checked this morning and I’m 4/10 over what I was last Thursday. Maybe this whooshing thing is true. Just makes me want to work extra hard the next three weeks so when then hell week comes upon me it won’t be quite as bad – I hope.

Food was okay yesterday. I made my baked chicken with Dijon, teriyaki and cheese. Yummy! I think I need to lay off the need to have something different every noon. I was thinking about this last night. Dad had 2 bologna and cheese sandwiches everyday for lunch (plus some cookies in his lunch pail for coffee breaks and dessert) for years! I remember asking him once if he ever got bored with his food. He had said that he didn’t think about it…it was just fuel to get through the rest of the day. That makes a lot of sense. We had good dinners every night – for the most part – and if I can keep that up, changing up the dinner at night, then having the same thing for breakfast and lunch everyday shouldn’t be such a hardship. So there you go. It really made sense since after having my baked chicken last night, I didn’t feel so bad about putting together my standard breakfast and lunch today.

I’m about to embrace my dorkiness and state that I get another smiley sticker for my calendar! YAY! Ran last night around Powderhorn Lake again. Same amount around but this time I was actually able to run 2 times consecutively (yay!), then walked a bit, ran another half then walked the rest of the way. I also ran up the hill, a lot like the one outside NW, at the end just to work the calves a bit. I’m thinking I may try the stairs from hell that are there too. Seriously, lots of stairs leading up to this ledge by the street. I’ve been watching them as I’d pass them and they look okay, not deathly steep but steep enough.

comments:
Rocky Upstairs said...

The next time you go walking/running around Powderhorn, you'd better call me. I need to get my ass in shape. We WILL take those stairs. Getting stronger....da da da da da (cue Rocky music here).....

And hey, that baked chicken looked really good, much better than bologna and cheese.

day 23

Not bad for day 23, but I’m getting bored with the food again. Not a good sign. Good thing I’m planning to grill up some good chicken tonight, or maybe I’ll do my old cheese and bake recipe instead. I haven’t had that in awhile. but I guess I did forget to have supper – well, not necessarily forgot, I did have celery and pb but I had forgotten to pack something a little more-so nutritious per se since I wouldn’t have time to go home before my evening plans. Oh well. I did have almonds in my purse for intermission last night. That was at least one step better to greatness. Ha!

I need to find some better options of things to bring along for lunch and such though. Sometimes it’s hard with bringing a cooler everyday, you can’t do anything to elaborate and it all has to fit so I feel somewhat limited. Oh well…I’m rambling. My dearest tre and I made a pact on Sunday when we had had our ‘lunch of resolutions’ to work out more. We check up on each other daily in general, but we chat about this now too. I’m so proud of her for getting up this morning and walking! YAY TRE! I have plans to run again tonight. Gotta keep at it when I can. less than 3 weeks before fit testing.

comments:

K said...

i know that things can get monotonous. kudos to you for trying to find ways to make it work. generally i would run home for lunch both on internship and during senior year, so i'm no help with the 'bringing chilled food to work' thing. but i can say that i'm very proud of you and i hope that you feel this is worth it even though it can be a pain.

9:38 AM

Empty brain (upstairs) said...

Monotony is the sponteniety of life. That makes no sense. Whatever.

day 22

Back to square one. I had some of my soy tortilla chips this weekend but I’m swearing off of them during the week – trying that whole phase 1.5 thing. If I’m good this week I might try the pizza this weekend. Went running last night around Powderhorn Lake. I’m not sure of the distance around it – there doesn’t seem to be an answer anywhere. I’m going to keep searching though. I went around 3 times, running 2.25 of those. Not bad for the first time out in months. Ugh. Slept like a baby last night because of it and I get to put a little smiley face sticker in my planner. :) I’m such a dork...

comments:

Tim said...

You say that like its a bad thing. Embrace your inner dork.

8:21 AM

A One (as in A Team, not steak sauce) said...

You ARE a dork. AND you ran your butt around the lake. Do you know how many people SHOULD have run their butts around the lake, but didn't? At least two, who live upstairs from you. You DESERVE a smiley face in your planner. You go girl.

Days 19-21

Food this weekend did not go well. After having salad with mom on Friday night and my standard eggs on Saturday morning, everything went downhill. Guards had ‘brunch’ both days for the ‘noon’ meal so instead of salad, which I was hoping for, I had mushy eggs and bacon which I literally had to squeeze the grease from. Then it was all juices and melons for other options. I had to drink something so I had a little bit of milk but guh. It was family day weekend so that meal was pulled pork, chips, baked beans and desserts. Oh so great for the diet. I had about 12 beans and pulled some of the pulled pork from the sandwich and ate that and one bite of the carrot cake which actually made me want to throw up. Yuck it was just gross. After the long day I stopped and got popsicles and weight watchers fudgsicles (which aren’t as good as the popsicle brand) and had those for supper.

Sunday was just as bad…egg mush again for breakfast, then I went to OG with Tre. I usually just get salad but I found a chicken/veggie meal but of course it came with pasta but kudos to OG for offering whole wheat pasta as an alternative. So I got the low-fat, low carb meal. Not bad. I had a couple of the bow-tie pasta but it wasn’t really that good (not the taste, I just kept hearing the numbers tick away of the amount of carbs I was ingesting) so I didn’t have much of it. Not bad. Then drove home and had cheese and celery/pb on the way. Missed supper last night too. Weekends are so bad. I need to work on that.

I will say that I have been doing this for 3 weeks (officially) now and I am feeling better about myself. I don’t miss bread as much as I thought I would though OG was hard yesterday as I love their breadsticks but I’m not really missing it otherwise. Hopefully I’ll keep going down and will do better with this weekend thing. This week could be whoosh week. I hope so since weighing in this morning sucked. We’ll see what happens.

comments;
No pulled pork upstairs said...

Okay, help my former vegetarian ass out...what the hell is pulled pork? You yank the pig a little before you knock it out, or what? That is the second time I have heard that expression today ("pulled pork", that is) and I am totally clueless. (again, not highly unusual for me, I'm just saying) And what's "whoosh week"...from where I'm standing it's either a)a guard thing b) a pork thing or c) a south beach diet thing. All are equally as scary to me. And yet I press on....that little comment engine that could....